Page 24 of Drowning in Darkness

I blink. He’s right, because I don’t know how to love, and I don’t deserve anything good, and not from someone like Stephanie.

“Maybe not,” I answer. “But her being hurt would hurt both of you. Also, I’m the delivery boy. The FBI will take over soon.”

“That makes me feel better.”

“Fucking hell,” Eleanor groans.

“I trust Agent Sinclair,” I tell my sister.

“Dangerous ground, brother. Trust no one.”

Stephanie giggles as she rummages in the bag. When did she even grab it from the rear? Also, those bags are heavy. Like lifting weights.

“Something funny, Steph?” Hunter growls.

“Ellie was just referring to an FBI agent with the trust-no-one mentality.”

“I’m not following,” he mutters.

“X-Files reference,” Eleanor adds. “I’ll explain later.”

“You will call me when you arrive. I want to speak to this agent myself,” Hunter demands.

Stephanie looks at me with a raised eyebrow. “I don’t see any issues with that,” I answer her unspoken question.

“If you did, we’d have more than issues,” Hunter adds. “You might think the sick fuckers you hang around are the baddest guys in the world, but I have a legion of bikers across the country who would unite to save one of their own at the snap of my fingers.”

Stephanie rolls her eyes. “Yes, yes, you are both very macho. Now, if we are done with posturing, I have snacks to devour.”

“Call me.”

Stephanie ends the calls with a sigh. She leans her head against the seat rest and closes her eyes for a beat. I pull my gaze away, scared I’ll wrap us around a tree if I get pulled into her orbit.

“My brother means well,” she whispers.

I turn down the music to catch everything she’s saying. “He loves you.”

“He’s still stuck in a past I’ve left behind.”

She tugs at the ends of her sweater, pulling it down over her wrists. I’ve seen the scars. I already know the basic facts, but not the details. How she walks around with this amount of light and love is a miracle.

“I think he’s stuck making sure your future is without pain.”

“That’s not real life though, is it?” she mumbles, flicking her eyes open to stare out her window. “For some of us, we just attract it.”

She can’t believe that? Right?

She grins as if she’s trying to shake off the seriousness, but I can see it for the lie it is. When she truly smiles, it lights up the room. This is brittle, like she’s reinforcing herself against the world with a breezy attitude.

“Now the real question is why the hell did you get the salty and sweet popcorn in one bag?”

“Space saving? It fulfilled two of your needs.”

“It’s abhorrent. Don’t do it again.”

As if I’ll ever be able to buy her popcorn again.

“But you redeemed yourself with these delights.” She waves the bag of Twinkies at me, and for the first time in forever, I laugh for real.