Page 72 of Vow of Hate

“There has to be something wrong with me. I welcomed Dante’s touch. And now, when Gabriel asked me to tell him where Dante kept me, I couldn’t. I said it was because I didn’t want Gabriel to be killed. And while that’s true, I also lied. I don’t want Dante to be the one killed.”

Luciana blows out a long breath, thinking my words over. “Ok. So are you saying… you have feelings for him?” I can detect the judgment in her tone.

“Yes,” I whisper. “I think I do. No. I know I do. I hate him and yet… I’m drawn to him. I want him. What is wrong with me?”

“Sienna, you do know he almost killed me right? He threatened to rape me with his gun,”

I flinch. “I know. You told me.” And here I was, enjoying the time I had sex with him when he had his gun to my head. “I just… I don’t know what to do.”

“He must have brainwashed you somehow. You need to tell Gabriel where he kept you. So Gabriel can kill him and we can be done with this mess.”

“And what happens to me after Dante is dead? Will another man kidnap me? Will Gabriel force me to marry someone else?”

She sighs. “I don’t know, Sienna.”

“Why can’t you just be supportive of me? Why judge me?”

“Because he almost killed me!” She jumps to her feet. “I hate him and I hate the thought that you could have feelings for that monster. You don’t…” Her face pales. “You don’t love him, do you?”

I huff. “I…” I want to say no but can I? Is what Dante and I have love? Some strange, obsessive addictive love? It’s not healthy, I know that. And yet, is this what I’m feeling? Heartbroken over Dante letting me go because I love him?

“Do you?” Luciana demands.

“I don’t know,” I cry. “I don’t know what I feel. I just know that I want to be with him. I want to be married to him. I want him to make peace with Gabriel. And I don’t want Gabriel finding out where he is. Please, Luci. Help me.”

Slowly, she sits back down and takes my hands. “Tell me where he kept you, Sienna. I will not tell Gabriel. I promise. Just tell me where he kept you.”

But we both know she’ll tell Gabriel in a heartbeat and I can’t risk my kidnapper being killed.

Before I can give Luci an answer, the door opens and my mom stands there, looking more like a ghost than a human. “Do you love him?” Her question cuts me to the core.

Chapter Seventeen

Sienna

Do you love him? My mom’s question is a terrifying one. I can’t love a monster like Dante. It’s not love. It’s more… obsession. Addiction. And yet, he still let me go. That has to count for something. I want him and I hate him and I don’t know how to make sense of these confusing feelings.

“I asked you a question,” Mom says in a hard tone.

“Were you listening in?” I ask.

She looks bashful for a moment. “I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”

“By listening to my conversation? You don’t get to come in here and ask me any sort of question when you were eavesdropping.”

“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have but it’s a good thing I did. Do you love him, Sienna? You can’t love a man like that. He kidnapped you. He must have hurt you so much to make you think this way.”

I get to my feet, needing to feel some sort of power. “I never said I love him. I just… I have conflicting feelings for him, all right? What all did you hear?”

“That you gave him your body. But he must have made you. There’s no way you would have willingly done it.”

“You don’t know everything about me, Mom. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew it would upset you but I did give Dante my body. I wanted him to take me. I’m not sorry for that. It had felt good. It wasn’t rape.”

“But he kidnapped you. By holding you captive, it’s inherently rape.”

A flare of anger hits me as I shake my head. “No. Not everything is how you want to see it. I know it’s not simple. It’s not black or white. Yes, Dante kidnapped me and I hate him for it. But I also don’t want him to die. He woke something up inside of me and I don’t want to put it away. I’m sorry that I’m not perfect right now.”

She flinches. “You were kidnapped. I… I get it. I’ll give you some time to sort out your feelings and thoughts. But Sienna, please think about this. You can’t love him.”