Page 16 of Falling Back to You

Family. Because I was marrying her youngest son.

I plastered on a smile. As an eldest daughter, I was the queen of faking it till I made it. Grin and bear it until the metallic taste of blood filled my mouth from biting back all the words I never said. Lifting the bag, I waved it nonchalantly. “Just needed to drop something off for Cal.”

“Oh, he’s still at practice.”

Exactly. I’d timed my visit accordingly. Only one person could talk me out of what I was about to do. “I have plans tonight,” I half lied. “But I wanted to surprise him.”

“Young love,” Mama D cooed, hand pressed to her ample chest.

If only she knew.

“Head on up.” She waved me off. “I’ll be in the kitchen. Stop in for a piece of pie when you’re done. It’s huckleberry.” She winked at me, knowing my weakness.

“I will,” I promised before darting up the stairs.

Familiar pictures on the walls smiled at me, the worn blue carpet under my feet. This house was as much home to me as my own next door. Maybe even more so.

I set the small black box in the middle of Cal’s double bed and slipped off my engagement ring, tucking it inside with a note.

Turning in a circle, I soaked in Cal’s essence. He’d shared the room with Greyson, his twin, for years before Greyson left to join the Marines earlier this summer. Now it was all Cal. Clearly evident by the messy piles splattered across the room. Greyson was tidy; Cal was . . . organized chaos.

In the half-open closet, I spotted a Chargers T-shirt and snagged it. Bunching it to my nose, I committed the smell to memory. I loved his cologne. That’s why he’d bought it.

We’d been friends for ages, but that changed when we started high school. He’d taken me cologne shopping, asking which ones I liked best.

As kids, we’d been inseparable. Then we fell in love.

Mom’s bitter words echoed in my brain. They’d been seared there for weeks. You’ll never last. You think he loves you now. Just wait till the jersey chasers start drooling over him. Romance is a myth. Add a couple babies and he’ll forget all about you.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop the scalding monologue. The words spoken in anger when I’d found her cheating on my dad.

She was supposed to confess. She promised she’d handle it.

But she hadn’t. She threatened to deny it if I interfered and tried to fix it. And I believed her. I’d tried telling Cal something was wrong. That I was struggling. But he wasn’t listening. Again.

“It’ll blow over,” he’d said with a shrug last night. “Your family always sorts itself out.”

No. I sort them out. But I can’t this time.

I stuffed the tee into my purse. One of his hoodies had already made its way to my wardrobe, but I wore it too often for it to smell like him. Guilt twinged my stomach as I took one final glance around the room.

This is for the best.

I stopped in the kitchen as promised, and Mama D slid a thick slice of huckleberry pie topped with fluffy whipped cream across the counter to me.

“Are you okay, honey?” Her kind concern was so tender I wanted to burst into tears and fall into her arms.

But I didn’t. I was stronger than that.

Besides, talking didn’t change anything. I’d tried it, and no one listened. I was shouting into a void. Everyone expected me to handle it.

Mama D isn’t like that. Maybe she could help.

I forced a carefully crafted, nonchalant smile. “Just tired.”

She offered a commiserating chuckle. “Wedding planning does that to a body.”

Bile burned my throat, but I willed it down alongside the pie. If only it was that simple. “Yeah,” I choked. The pie, usually so decadent, curdled in my stomach. “I should run. Will you tell Cal . . .” Tell him what? I was sorry? I loved him but not enough to stay? I couldn’t take my family anymore and I was scared? “Never mind.” There was nothing to add that I hadn’t already said. He just hadn’t been listening.