Page 12 of What’s Left of Us

Chapter 5

age ten

“You have to push off hard.” Atlas’s voice was gravely serious. We stood on the bank of his family’s lake house, him holding the rope swing between both hands. He leaned back to keep from falling down the steep incline. “If you don’t push off hard, you won’t make it. So push off hard, wait until you’re right above the water, and then let go.”

“What happens if I don’t make it to the water?”

“You’ll break your leg.” He held the rope toward me. “That’s what happened to my dad’s friend when they were kids. He went off a rope swing and missed the water. Broke his whole leg and couldn’t walk for months.”

I swallowed. “I’m not sure I want to do this.”

“You’ll be fine.” Atlas shook the rope gently, urging me to take it. He was wearing a pair of bright orange swim trunks, and they were dripping water all over our feet. He’d already been several times, and every time he went, it seemed easy. Fun, even.

I looked down at myself. I was wearing Nat’s old swimsuit, the color worn out and ugly. I was still dry. I dipped my toe in the water earlier but it was cold and I chickened out from jumping in with everyone else.

I wasn’t sure why this seemed like the better idea.

“You can do it, Vi.”

“And if I don’t want to?” My voice shook, and I could feel the embarrassment creeping up my neck.

Where Nat and Phoebe had become instant best friends the day we all met two years ago, my friendship with Atlas was slower. Boredom won out, more than anything else. We didn’t like many of the same things. I liked drawing and playing my mom’s old keyboard and painting my nails. Atlas liked catching bugs and throwing his baseball and attempting to skateboard. Still, we hung out all the time.

Doing something boring with Atlas turned out to be more fun than doing anything else by myself.

“Then I’ll do it and you can watch.” He shrugged, pulling the rope back toward himself. “You can try tomorrow instead.”

I nodded. Looked out at the lake beyond us. It was so pretty when we were boating on the water with his dad. Right now, it was terrifying. The drop seemed impossibly far. And who even put this rope here? How did we know it was meant to hold my weight? I might weigh more than Atlas. He was taller, but he was so skinny he⁠—

“Violet?” Atlas asked.

Before I could reply, Phoebe and Nat came stomping through the trees. They were thirteen and fourteen now, and they got to wear bikinis. I didn’t think I’d care, but my hand-me-down one piece was so ugly in comparison. I felt like a big baby. Then again, wasn’t I acting like a big baby?

“Are you two almost done?” Phoebe asked. She had a green popsicle. Nat’s was yellow. “Nat and I want a turn.”

“I was teaching Violet how to do it.” Atlas twisted to look at them, tugging the rope with him. “She’s never gone off a rope swing before.”

“Violet can do it,” Nat said proudly. “She’s good at everything.”

That wasn’t true at all, but her confidence made me want to be brave.

“Just come get us when you’re done.” Phoebe started back up the slope, and Nat followed dutifully behind her.

I stared after the older girls as they disappeared between the trees before turning back to Atlas. He was smiling goofily at me. He was cute, or as Mom said, handsome. Not that I’d ever repeat that to him.

I gestured for the rope, and his eyebrows shot up toward his hairline.

“We can just get popsicles if you want. This will be here later.”

“I can do it.” I grabbed the rope from him and positioned it in front of myself. With a deep breath, and not another second of hesitation, I launched myself off the steep edge.

I pushed hard, just like Atlas said. I swung up and up, higher and higher, until I was definitely above the water. I knew I needed to let go, but I was so impossibly high, I felt like I might die if I did.

“Let go!” Atlas screamed. “Vi, you have to let go!”

With a sharp jerk, the rope swung back toward the rocky ledge. I had to let go. There was no more time. Instead, I clung to the rope harder. My stomach dropped as the rope spun me around in dizzying circles.

“I can’t!” I wailed. “I can’t!”