Page 54 of Heartstrings & Horseshoes

Can she feel how hard my heart’s beating beneath her palm? Does she have any idea how earth-shattering tonight was for me?

Neither of us are brave enough to say goodnight, so I flick off the bedside lamp, plunging us into darkness. We’d normally have pillow talk until she falls asleep.

Typically, once she’s asleep, I kiss the crown of her head and smell her vanilla-infused hair—greedy for any piece of her I can get.

But tonight, my girl surprises the hell out of me. Just when I think she’s ready to fall asleep, she turns her face into me and places a tender kiss on my pec.

That kiss tells me she’s open to what happened tonight, and she’s not closing the door on this new level of intimacy.

Her small offering sealed her fate.

Delilah is mine.

27

What am I doing? Something must be wrong with me. I’ve never been this horny.

My blue bestie gets a workout nearly every day. That’s a lie. It’s every day, sometimes more than once.

What do you expect when I’m living and working with the sexiest man alive and now have been dry humped by him to completion. My blue bestie does a bang-up job, but nothing compares to the way Connor made me come beneath the stars that night.

It didn’t matter we were covered in sticky pie filling or were in the wide open and anyone could’ve seen us—it was profoundly intimate. We weren’t naked, he wasn’t inside me, but it was the best sex I’ve ever had.

I’m painfully disappointed that like the two kisses that “never happened,” this never happened either. Is there an award for denial and avoidance? Because if there is, we both deserve the gold.

But it did happen, and it’s all I think about. My body aches for him every minute of the day. I longed for Connor before, but now knowing how he feels between my legs, my suffering is unbearable.

Naturally, I’m currently straddling Connor’s pillow with my blue bestie situated just right, and I’m questioning every decision I’ve ever made.

I need to come. I can usually orgasm with my vibrator but it’s like a tickle when I need a deep itch scratched. No matter how hard I try, I can’t replicate Connor’s hard dick grinding against me like he’d die without having me.

The thought that he might want me in that way was intoxicating. I gave in to my desire and took as much as he was willing to give.

I’ve been at it for a half hour already and I’m nowhere close to satisfied. Connor’s at the ranch today helping Reid with the guest cabins but I stayed home so I wouldn’t be subjected to him prancing around in front of me in his slutty little tank top and backwards hat.

And his ass—dear god, his ass is magnificent. His jeans sit just low enough on his hips to reveal that tempting “V,” making my mouth water involuntarily. Drool isn’t attractive on anyone, let me tell you.

I used my day of solitude to take an everything shower, exfoliate and moisturize every inch of my body, and indulge in some good old-fashioned masturbation.

I give up, tossing my blue bestie off to the side and remove myself from Connor’s pillow. I can’t forget to wash his pillowcase…

My phone goes off on the bedside table and I flop over to check it.

Studmuffin: Hey doll, how are you feeling?

Funny story, I’ve been so horny for him, I couldn’t survive a day of watching him do hard labor, so I told him I wasn’t feeling well. The guilt from lying is worth not being subjected to his abs today.

Me: I feel fine, sorry I’m not there to help!

Studmuffin: You feeling better is all that matters. We’ve got it handled over here.

Me: Is it going okay?

Studmuffin: [selfie of a shirtless, sweat-glistening Connor covered in sawdust standing in front of the nearly framed guest house]

Why? Why must he torture me? Does he realize what it does to me when he sends me pictures like this? I have a locked folder in my phone full of photos he’s sent me over the years and I’m not ashamed to say they make an appearance when my vibrator comes out.

Lust muddles my brain. Am I perpetually ovulating or something? This is ridiculous. I blame my hormones for what I do next.