Page 45 of The Swindler’s Daughter

Well, blast. My face and I had just betrayed Rowan and his merry band of misfits. Accidentally, yes, but still. I could have tried to deny it, claim no knowledge of any such thing, but it was clear he already knew, and I didn’t want to lie to Hunter.

“How long have you known?” I asked, setting the basin down.

“A while. I was waiting for you to tell me about it, but you never did.” He frowned. “That’s not like you.”

Shame rose up, knowing that I’d purposely kept something from him, but indignation was quick to follow, and I defended my decision. “I tried to tell you. I told you what was happening in the village. I told you I was worried. I told you it was wrong—and it is!” I insisted, trying to hold on to my courage as I stood up to my brother.

“I agree it’s concerning and unfair—”

“And those boys are helping!” I insisted. “They’re righting a wrong.”

He shook his head in disappointment. “Don’t do that. Don’t justify it. That’s exactly what our father did. ‘We worked hard. We deserved more than what we got,’ he would say. But even if that’s true, it doesn’t mean that stealing from others was right. What if that was their last coin? What if the money we took from their pockets meant they couldn’t feed their children?”

“I know all this,” I asserted, having gone over these arguments over and over in my own mind for the past weeks. “But it’s different, what they’re doing.”

“It’s not,” he said with calm surety.

“They’re stealing back what’s being stolen from others. Isn’t that justice?” I asked, desperate for him to at least understand my perspective. “Those boys only take from the lawmen who should be enforcing the law but are outright stealing instead.”

“It’s a problem. I know that and I’m not denying it—”

“You are denying it! If you know it’s a problem and you don’t do something about it, at what point are you complicit?” I asked.

He looked bewildered. “So now it’s my fault that the magistrate isn’t a pillar of virtue?”

“He’s corrupt, Hunter,” I said, my voice low and strong. “Don’t dress it up and try to make it look nice. Don’t diminish it. Don’t justify it,” I said, purposefully throwing the word back at him. “Just because the magistrate hasn’t come here demanding money that we don’t have doesn’t mean it’s not happening to others. It’s abuse!” I said, knowing the truth of it and letting my anger seep through. “It’s lawlessness. Someone has to help, and they are,” I defended, jabbing a finger away from the house. “They’re doing a good thing.”

“And the poaching?” he asked. “Did someone steal those animals and let them loose on the duke’s property? Poaching isn’t returning someone’s stolen goods; it’s simple theft.”

I rolled my eyes. “There are plenty of animals; they might as well be used for some good.”

He rocked back a step, looking at me like he didn’t recognize me. “Do you hear yourself? Maybe you really are turning into our father.”

I sucked in a breath through my nose, but it got stuck, frozen in my chest. I couldn’t breathe. No other words could have hurt me as deeply as those did. I blinked at the stinging in my eyes, stunned by the blow he’d just dealt me. I finally released my breath in a pained huff.

Hunter’s face crumpled and his shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, Miri.” He reached out. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I just—”

I jerked away from his hand and stepped back to put more distance between us. “How dare you.” The words came out in a bare whisper.

“I only meant that he used the same kinds of justification.”

“Then say that,” I spat, my voice rising and shaking with rage. “Say those words. But do not act as if justifying the theft of a few animals to feed starving families is the same thing as my father trying to sell me for the cost of a meal or two!”

I heard his sharp intake of breath as he stepped back, his face going ashen. He opened his mouth but only a choking sound came out.

“I know that’s what the meeting was that night,” I yelled, though my throat was clogged with tears. “I didn’t realize at the time what it meant, but it stuck in my mind. Sometimes I thought I had dreamed it. Other times I thought I’d made it up, but after a few years I figured out what those negotiations meant.” All of the horror and worthlessness that was wrapped around that knowledge rose up, threatening to strangle me, but I pushed it down. “So don’t you dare tell me that I am anything like that man!”

He swallowed, looking ready to weep. “I’m sorry,” he choked out. I didn’t know if he was apologizing for his awful words or for what my father had almost done to me.

Either way, his words made my anger dissipate, and I heaved a shaky breath.

Hunter just stared at me, shaking his head over and over—tiny little shakes as his throat worked. “I never wanted you to know that.”

“I know,” I said as an overwhelming wave of love for my brother washed over me.

“All this time, I’ve taken solace in the fact that at least you didn’t know.” A tear streaked down his face.

“Believe me. I wish I’d never worked it out,” I admitted as my chest tightened and I wept in earnest. “And I know you were trying to protect me, I do. But in the end, it just made me feel alone in it. I thought I needed to protect you from knowing that I knew. Instead of being together in it, we were both alone.”