Page 31 of The Starling and the Hatter

I conceded with a nod, my stomach curling in pleasure at the compliment.

“Come,” he said, grabbing my hand. “Let’s watch the sword swallower.” He tugged me into a run, and we hurried through the crowd until we could clearly see the man sweeping in front of the crowd with a long sword in his hand before planting his feet, tilting his head back, and feeding the metal blade down his throat.

I’d seen it probably hundreds of times, but it still made me squeamish.

Robert leaned close to my ear. “He’s quite good.”

Though I agreed, I still shut my eyes when the man’s assistant came up and pulled the sword from his mouth.

“I think that would take more trust than I have in another human being,” Robert commented.

I laughed. “I certainly wouldn’t trust myself to do that for anyone.”

“Can you imagine if it went wrong?” he asked.

“I’d rather not” was my answer as the assistant set aside the straight blade and then picked up a long blade that was wavy, with three distinct curves in it. She walked along the crowd, presenting it for all to see before bringing it over to the swallower.

“No,” I murmured. “No, he wouldn’t really…”

Robert grinned. “We festival rats are a different breed, you know that.”

I watched, gobsmacked as the man turned so he had his profile to the crowd and then proceeded to push the long, curved blade into his mouth. His neck rose and fell with each curve that pushed past his throat in a sort of trance-inducing, snake-like movement.

When he removed it, I turned my back, feeling even more squeamish than before. Robert burst into applause at my side. “I’ve never seen anyone swallow that sort of sword before,” he shouted in my direction.

“My neither, and I’m not sure I want to again.” Still, I was grinning. It was a fantastic act, and I was seeing it with Robert. His easy smile and carefree nature were a breath of fresh air.

The sword swallower wasn’t the only act we saw. Robert tugged me from one stall or act to another, and in only a couple of hours, we saw and did more than I usually managed in an entire week. He seemed inexhaustible, and it was easy for his exuberance to rub off on me and make me more optimistic.

As time ticked on, the need to get back to work started making me antsy, but I didn’t want to leave Robert. He was familiar, and it had been a long time since I’d had anything familiar. He was also a bright reminder that not everything in my past had been dark. Running from my brothers had meant running from everyone I’d ever known, and until seeing Robert White in that crowd, I hadn’t realized just how much I missed some parts of the life I had before.

Fortunately, when I confessed that I needed to get back to work, he seemed sad to see me go and asked me to meet up with him the next day.

As I made dinner and ate alongside Hatcher and Marshall, I thought back on the day and was gratified by how energized I felt. Hatcher put up with my constant restlessness, my need to change costumes and switch from one spot to another, but Robert met my exuberance with his own chaos. There was a sense of freedom in being with him that opened me up and allowed me to breathe. I also knew that his decision to spend time with me wasn’t charity. My presence wasn’t a burden and so I could be entirely myself, standing at his side as his equal.

11

Maddox

It was early. We hadn’t opened the tent for business yet, so it was no surprise when I entered the tent through the back flap and saw Elise standing there, not quite dressed. Not surprising, but still a shock to my system.

My entrance didn’t affect her. She just kept fiddling with the waistband of her skirt, which was not tied. Her bodice was over her shoulders but hadn’t been laced at the front. I wanted to growl at the unfairness. I was stuck to the ground, unable to move because she wasn’t entirely tied and buttoned into her dress, and yet she was completely unaffected.

When she didn’t acknowledge my presence, I thought perhaps she didn’t realize I’d come in. Though the abrupt wash of sunlight that my entrance would have caused to appear and then disappear should have been plenty to alert her. She did seem very intent on examining her waistband though, so perhaps—

She let a sound of disgust escape her throat. “Will you help me with this?”

So she did know I was here. She simply wasn’t concerned about it. Not that this was new territory, but in the past I’d been able to tell myself that the young, naive part of her personality made her unaware of the effect she had on men, making her impervious to being affected by men.

But once Robert showed up, it was clear that she was well aware of him. Some might even say smitten.

“Hatch?”

Her call finally pulled me out of my stupor. I walked forward, bracing myself against the effect of all of her. “What’s the matter?”

“The matter, Mr. Hatter,” she said, throwing a teasing look at me, “is that I think there was a pin left in this skirt.” She gestured to the back of her waist. “But it only pokes me when I move a certain way, so I can’t find it.”

I didn’t bother suggesting that she take it off and search the waistband herself, even if that was the practical solution. I had no wish to embarrass her or make her think that I wasn’t willing to help. I was willing. There was even an annoying part of me that looked forward to these torturous moments.