Page 39 of The Starling and the Hatter

“I tried. I started to protest, but they ignored me or laughed at me.”

“So then what made you leave?”

I pressed my fingers to my lips and sniffed. “It started out as the stupidest thing. They conned an old man out of a bowl.” My face twisted in incredulity. “We didn’t need it. It wasn’t worth much, but they found so much pleasure in cheating people that they stole a silly painted bowl.” I was still incredulous over that decision. It had been risky and unnecessary. “I loudly argued with them about it. I even jumped from the wagon. I was so tired of watching them cause misery for their own entertainment.” Of course they hadn’t listened to my protests. The strike of Daggon’s hand had been swift. I was on the ground with a bloody face before I knew what was happening. “I insisted they go back and return it, but…”

“They wouldn’t go back.”

I shook my head. “And then a girl came by. She was defending me, trying to be brave, like me. She failed, like me.” I stood and turned away for a moment, wiping at my face, then turned back, ready to have the story done with. “They took her. Threatened to hurt me if she didn’t cooperate and hurt her if I didn’t cooperate.” All my residual anger bubbled up. “It was the first time I really stood up to my brothers, over something as silly as a bowl, and it did no good. Not only that, but it was my delay that allowed that girl to be taken,” I said as I jabbed a finger into my chest. “My protests didn’t make a difference,” I spat as all my helplessness bubbled to the surface, boiled in pain and anger. “My indignation and righteous arguments didn’t save her.”

His chest rose and fell with bigger swells as he reacted to the news of my mistreatment. “What did they do with you? With her?”

“They tried to sell her.” The words were bitter as they left my mouth—as I watched blood drain from Hatcher’s face. “My brothers, who had been so protective of me, so determined—I thought—to keep me from that pain and humiliation at least. They didn’t even pause before deciding that this girl could fetch a price for them.” The aching in my throat and chest increased as I continued to hold my tears and tell my story. “They even found a man willing to make the purchase. The only reason the transaction wasn’t made was because she was…fierce. Strong. Saints above, she ended up saving me.” How grateful I was to have seen her. Perhaps that was why I could speak of it. Because I knew that the girl in the scarlet cloak was happy and healthy and had created a beautiful family.

I sniffed again but kept talking, wanting to get it all out. “Seeing her being paraded about, put up for sale, it shattered my tenuous belief in my brothers. I had been sure that there was a line they would not cross.” The tears that had been threatening would not be held back any longer, and they streaked down my face. “I’d been sure that I would always be safe from others if they were on my side. Then, at the first opportunity, they took a girl who looked to be my age,” I said, my broken voice rising as I pressed both hands over my heart. “They tied her up in our wagon and they found a man willing to pay for her. And when that didn’t work out, they found another buyer. My attempts to stand up to them and save her were useless. It was her friends that found her and saved her. It was she who saved me. When all was said and done, the only reason I was even able to walk away was because she and her friends had my brothers distracted. So I took my chance, and I stole from my brothers, and I snuck away like a coward. And then—”

“Don’t.” Hatcher stood abruptly.

That one harsh word from Hatcher’s mouth startled me into silence.

“Don’t call yourself a coward,” he said, his eyes blazing. “I think you may very well be the least cowardly person I know.” He stepped closer, his hand reaching up the way it had before. But instead of just skimming my cheek, he pressed his hand to the back of my neck and gently pulled me to his chest.

I’d hugged Hatcher plenty of times. He was my best friend. But this was…so different. The way he held me like I was fragile, like he would wrap me in all his strength and take care of me, was exactly what I needed.

More tears stung my eyes and I couldn’t stop the sobs that rose up. I clung to his back, letting him hold me up. After a time, my gratitude welled up so big and full that I couldn’t keep it in anymore. “Thank you, Hatcher,” I said between sniffs. “I don’t think you’ll ever be able to understand what your friendship means to me.” After giving and giving to my brothers until I was empty and wrung out, being accepted and appreciated by Hatcher and his entire family was wonderful and curious and still felt unreal most of the time. And it certainly felt fleeting, as if it couldn’t possibly last.

But for this moment, I would soak in his strength and try to believe that it might always be this way.

13

Maddox

I woke the next morning but remained in my bedroll, marveling over the newfound connection I felt with Elise. She had told me her story. She’d confided in me, telling me about the worst days of her life. And then she’d let me comfort her, sobbing into my arms, and the rightness of that… Taking care of her had felt like the way it should always be.

At least for me.

I dragged my hand down my face. I loved her so much, in so many ways, and she had no idea.

Absolutely maddening.

When I finally got up to prepare for the day, I passed by Elise where she crouched by the fire. She looked up and gave me a soft, timid smile. She’d entrusted me with a fragile part of herself, which I knew had been difficult for her. I smiled in return, then squeezed her shoulder as I passed by, trying to communicate without words that I understood, and that I would be careful with her confidences.

As the day progressed, moving from morning and into late afternoon, I was grateful that White hadn’t come around today. Yet.

It had been a more normal day, with Elise coming in and out, switching costumes when the mood struck her. I loved that she had options. I loved that I’d made all of them.

I was with a young lady who wished for a cape with gold embellishments, showing her her options, when White wandered in.

“Is Elise here?” he asked.

I tossed my head in the direction of the back corner. “She’s changing.”

He nodded and stepped away, feigning interest in a table stacked with belts, sashes and scarves.

The young lady squealed over a cape with golden leaves embroidered along the hem and happily handed over a piece of silver for it, hugging it to her chest as she hurried away.

I smiled until White’s voice reminded me that he was here.

“You’ve certainly provided Elise with plenty of costumes.”