Page 42 of The Starling and the Hatter

His brow furrowed. “That would be…difficult.”

“Yes,” I assured him. “So then, wouldn’t you want to find people who gave you that safety? Someone you could rely on besides yourself?”

“Hmm,” he considered.

“There’s a comfort and safety I’ve found with the Hatchers, and I value it, but eventually…I’ll have to move on.”

We walked along in comfortable silence for several moments before he spoke again. “You mean, eventually…you will meet someone, and he will become your family.” He looked over at me. “Right?”

His words were vague, but their meaning blasted through me like a horn. They were exactly what I had been thinking, but if he was saying them, did that mean…did he wish to be that family? Did he see that sort of potential future for us? I tamped down that thought. He hadn’t said any such thing. He wasn’t volunteering, he was just stating the facts. I would need to marry someday soon, and that man would become my family.

“Are you ready for that adventure?” he asked. “Would you want to branch out and do things differently if you found someone who wasn’t content to follow the festival route like everyone else?”

What answer should I give? What did he want to hear? Was he talking about himself or just talking in generalities? My mind raced until I realized that all I could be was honest. As much as I wanted to please Robert, honesty was more important. So I took a breath. “I really don’t know. I’ve put so much effort into creating a stable life for myself, and a big part of that is the routine and predictability of these festivals. Plus, this is all I’ve ever known.”

“And you’ve made a name for yourself.” He sounded proud, which bolstered my confidence.

“Yes, I have. Don’t get me wrong, I love the freedom of this life just as much as the predictability. And a part of me does want to be more adventurous.”

He grinned. “I’ve noticed. There aren’t many people who can keep up with my need for change, but you’ve done an admirable job.”

I laughed a little. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“As you should. This world is vast and exciting and wide open to anyone willing to venture into it. I want to see more of it, feel more of it, experience more of it. And at some point…” He glanced down at me and then away. “At some point, I hope to find someone who wants those same things.”

My stomach clenched and my heart jumped into my throat. He wouldn’t say those things if he didn’t believe I could be that person, would he? He was holding my hand while he said them; surely that meant something.

A warm swell of hope blossomed in my chest and I closed my eyes, breathing in the evening air and the possibility of someday that Robert had just laid at my feet. The idea of seeing more of the wide-open world was beautiful and appealing, not only for the adventure, but also for the distance it would give me from my brothers. If I were to choose a life outside the festival world, perhaps I could finally lay down the fear that constantly bubbled under the surface.

14

Elise

It was the last full day of the Murrwood festival, and I’d planned to spend at least a portion of it with Robert, the way we had every day this week. I wanted to talk more about what he wanted and what I wanted. If we wanted the same thing, and if that thing was each other…

But Robert was gone.

I’d walked around the festival multiple times looking for him before I started asking if anyone had seen him. The answer was no, over and over again, until I spoke with the smithy’s apprentice.

“Saw him this morning,” he said as he pounded the red-hot metal with his hammer.

I was relieved that someone had seen him. “Where was he?”

He tipped his head to the east. “Headed that way. I’d only just arrived to get the fires going when he came by. Had a full pack on his back.”

A shot of alarm ran through me. “Did he say where he was going?”

“Stormbrook,” he said, moving the metal back to the forge. “Said Dressle was worn out and he wanted to try his hand at something new.”

“But the Stormbrook festival isn’t for almost two weeks.”

“That’s what I told him, but he just said he didn’t need a festival to sell his magic.”

“Oh,” I said, more confused than anything. “Thank you.” I turned to go and left him to his hammer.

I walked back toward camp with a scowl on my face and my arms folded tightly across my chest. Had the time he and I spent together meant so little to him? Did I not deserve a little warning of his departure, or even a wave goodbye? Last night he’d talked about a future, about adventure.

As I walked along the stream that skirted the festival grounds, I tried not to be mad. However, I couldn’t help coming to the conclusion that his actions were horribly insensitive, and I didn’t like thinking that Robert was insensitive. He and I had had such a lovely time together. The entire week, he’d been attentive, caring, and complimentary. He’d held my hand and told me I was capable. He’d wanted to know why I was willing to spend time with him, as though he were the one unworthy of my attention.