Page 93 of The Golden Scoop

“A kiss, a taco date, another kiss, impromptu take-out delivery that ended with more kissing…” I list off. “Nothing else, I swear. He’s being ridiculously respectful.”

“Probably because he’s been in love with you for years and doesn’t want to screw it up.”

My jaw drops so fast it hurts.

“Not that serious,” I argue.

“For you,” Julia says calmly.

“For him.”

Her eyes narrow dangerously. “Should I take that to mean you are in love with him?”

“I wish I knew,” I groan, dropping my face into my hands. “All I know is I’m tired of being temporary. It’s happened too many times before. I don’t want something that ends the second it gets complicated. This thing with Matt. It’s bound to get messy.”

“Messy isn’t always bad,” she says with a shrug. “Life’s a shitshow most of the time, don’t I know it.”

I laugh despite myself. She’s right.

Then, quieter. “I don’t want to be disposable.”

“Then don’t treat yourself like you are.”

She steps closer and takes my hands.

“I could sit here and list every great thing about him. Convince you this a good idea,” she begins. “But I have a feeling you know that already. The way he looks at you, Em…it was a dead giveaway before. Now, it’s out of this planet. You’ve given him a taste and that man is ready to do anything it takes to keep you.”

“What about my job? He’ll hate me for it,” I counter. “I’m already in deeper than I’d like to admit.”

Julia’s expression doesn’t even flicker.

“Matt could never hate you,” she says simply. “If you love him, you should tell him.”

“Right.” I tap a finger against my lips. “Hypothetically speaking… how would I know in the case that I do?”

“Did you forget how long it took me to figure that out myself?”

“Wonderful.”

“You don’t need to know the ending yet. You need to decide whether he’s worth the risk,” she says.

“That’s deep,” I mutter.

“Thanks. Harrison taught me that.” She beams proudly. “Now come on before the boys storm in here. We both know they’re suckers for juicy details.”

In the short walk back to the table, something inside me settles. I’ve spent so long surrounded by disappointment I started to feel like I wasn’t allowed more. That stops now.

Matt looks up the second we’re back in view. I let myself enjoy the weight of his attention. His hand brushes against my lower back as I slide back down into the chair. No flinching. No overthinking, either.

TWENTY-ONE

Emma

No self-sabotaging, I repeat out loud like a mantra while the coffee drips into my mug. Turns out all I needed was my best friend back to give me a little push. From all the information I’ve gathered, and taking Julia’s opinion with a grain of salt, Matt’s been honest, and he’s more interested than he’s letting on.

Yesterday’s surprise healed a big chunk of me. People sometimes say you come across one single instant that puts everything into perspective and that was it. Now I have to think of a gesture of my own.

Are you free later today?