Page 49 of The Marquess of Secrets

Once he arrived home and stepped out of the cab, Youngston and Gillis assisted him upstairs, undressed him, and bundled him into bed.

His dreams were fractured, strange, borne from bone-numbing fatigue. In his nightmare, he attended a fancy ball in his Doctor Damian outfit, his apron spattered with blood. He tried to gain the attention of the lords and ladies, but they looked away in disgust.

Wake up, you fool.

Apparently, he did care what society thought of him. What a distasteful discovery. Among the disdainful crowd? His own family. They turned their backs on him. Was he fearful that his family would reject his secret life? It made no sense. His family always championed good causes.

No, it wasn’t only his secretive doctor duties but all the lies he’d told. Harrison should have been forthright about it. What a hash he’d made of things.

Damn all the obstacles. Damn all his rationalizations. And damn his craven ways.

Harrison cracked open his eyes and found himself in complete darkness. Someone was in the room with him. He inhaled, and the scent of wildflowers filled his senses.

Lydia lit the gas lamp next to his bed, and golden light surrounded him, causing him to squint.

“It’s ten o’clock. At night, obviously,” she murmured. “You didn’t come home last night. I won’t ask where. It’s not my business.”

“I was at the terminus.”

“Oh.”

“You thought I was with a woman?” he asked as he rubbed his eyes again, trying to clear the fog from his vision.

Lydia sighed. “I assumed that’s where most men go when they storm out. At least, that has been my experience. Especially since you did not come home the night before that.”

Harrison sat upright, the blanket slipping to his waist, exposing his bare chest.

Lydia didn’t hide her heated look as she inspected him closely. He reveled in the attention. Though he’d lost weight, he still managed to keep himself in reasonable shape.

“Allow me to apologize once again for suggesting an affair. It was borne out of selfishness on my part; I had no business making such a proposal. I offended you. I was embarrassed by my behavior. Overwhelmed with emotion. And, as is typical of me, I kept my distance.”

There. Apology given once again. Sincerely meant.

Lydia’s gaze traveled upward until it locked with his. “We are a pair, aren’t we? When feelings become too much to handle, we withdraw. I wasn’t offended. In fact, I was—am—tempted.”

His heart thudded double-time at her forthright statement.

“Temptation aside,” Lydia continued, “I am not ready for those types of relations. However brief, however passionate. Huntsford has not completely ruined me; I refuse to allow him to achieve such a triumph. I could make a declaration that I will never become involved with another man ever again. But I won’t. No, he will not have that victory over me.” Her voice was unwavering, determined.

In truth, Harrison could not fault her reasoning, but his heart throbbed with regret nonetheless.

“So not is all lost between us? Or is it wishful thinking on my part?”

“I honestly don’t know what the future will bring. I can only stay focused here in the present. I’m not saying no, I am saying—not at this exact time.”

Her gaze slid downward; the sheet did not conceal the fact that he was aroused. “I want to crawl into bed with you, curl up next to your warmth. Have you hold me and tell me all will be well.”

Harrison tossed aside the sheet. “Then come and let me hold you. Regardless of my aroused state, I will not take advantage. You have my word. Do you trust me?”

He was naked. Exposed—in more ways than one.

Boldly, her gaze slid to that aching and hard part of him. Her admiring look filled him with masculine pride.

“I do trust you, Harrison. If I show moments of doubt or seemingly withdraw, know it’s not because of you.”

Lydia stood, kicked off her slippers, then lay beside him, on her side, facing away from him. Harrison curled about her, pulling her close. His erection no doubt prodded her back. Lying in his embrace, she didn’t flinch or pull away.

The trust was there, taking root, and his heart soared.