Page 64 of The Not So Perfect Duke

“Take my carriage,” Damon suggested. “Just inform Dawson where you wish to go.”

With a nod and wave, they were off.

Damon sat on the sofa and patted the cushion next to him. “You know, it’s very telling.”

She sat next to him and gave him a puzzled look. “What do you mean?”

“After the examination, you came straight to my arms. Not to your family, but to me. I confess that the egomaniac inside me is crowing loudly. But more importantly, it told me that your feelings for me are more serious than you have let on.”

Althea sighed resignedly. “I cannot deny it. I tried to be practical and analytical about it all. Our different backgrounds and our status in society. It couldn’t be possible. It shouldn’t be possible.” She gave him a tremulous smile. “But I am falling for you. Tumbling, in fact.”

“My Thea, I am quite besotted. Whatever the future brings, we will see it through together. I want no other woman but you. Make of that what you will. And I want you to hear me on this. I will never try to rule your life or try to change you. Not ever.”

Tears beaded on her eyelashes.

“I am not a good man,” he continued. “I am not used to all this drama. I glided through life, not caring for so long. I am finding it all rather overwhelming.”

“Yes. It is called life, and it is messy,” Althea said gravely. “And messy quite frequently. And a health crisis is just one part of that chaos. There could be more upheavals, and I am sorry to cause you any anguish.”

Althea was not condescending, as she understood what Damon had been through these past weeks. The death of his miserable father. The revelations of the dukedom and all his father had done. His feelings concerning her. And now, this predicament of her health.

“And I want to face this swirling chaos with no one but you, My Thea.”

She threw herself into his arms, kissing him soundly.

Damon took the kiss deeper. It spoke of desire, hunger, and an unfettered passion. Then he broke it and pulled back, giving her such an intense gaze that a soft moan escaped her lips. “This is quite the admission from both of us,” Damon whispered. “I also noticed we are dancing around a particular word. Falling for, besotted—”

“We are. Until I know how the present resolves, I cannot look to the future, not yet.” She stroked his cheek with the back of her fingers. “Can you be patient with me a while longer? There is still much to work out in my mind.”

He gently clasped her fingers in mid-stroke. Then kissed them. “No matter the diagnosis, I will still want you. I want you now. Come to me tonight.”

“Oh, how you tempt me. I foolishly thought I could indulge in a brief affair and remain detached from it all.”

“Take my word for it. It can be accomplished. I am living proof, considering my past. I had no inkling of what love could entail.” He released her hand and put a finger to his lips. “I said the word, but I am speaking of my past. My father never showed me any affection. I concluded at an early age that it is best not to feel. That way, you are not hurt. It was a code I lived by—until I met you.”

Damon’s stark words touched her. Revealing such a deep vulnerability caused her protective instinct to burst the surface once again.

With a ragged sigh, he took her hand. “When I was seven, my mother tried to leave my father. My father’s cold, cruel ways made our lives miserable. He flung his numerous infidelities in my mother’s face. With a few bags packed, we once traveled as far as Euston Station before Silas Browning, and a couple of footmen dragged us back to stand before the duke. It was the only time my father beat me. He used his fists and a log from the fire.”

“Oh, my God,” Althea cried.

“That was not the worst of it. The duke made me stand there, bruised and bleeding, and made me watch while he did the same to my mother. And worse. And by worse, I mean he violated her right in front of me. He would not let me turn away. ‘This is how you treat a woman when she disobeys. Show her who is the ruler and master,’ he screamed at me. I never followed my father’s dictum in that regard. I never forced or humiliated a woman—or anyone.”

Damon laughed brokenly. “Is it any wonder I turned out the way I did? I sought meaningless encounters, hoping to feel anything. For my father killed something within me that day. I have never told anyone this. I am not looking for pity or making excuses. Or perhaps I am.”

Althea stroked his cheek once again. “I know. That is horrendous. Your father was a terrible, amoral beast, and I am glad he’s dead.”

“As am I. I have been alone and lonely my entire life. Is that why I am seeking a family? To try and repair the trauma done to me? Buchanan astutely observed that I must have suffered a deep-rooted trauma earlier in my life. I scoffed at that. But it is a valid point, isn’t it?”

Althea hugged him tightly, her eyes filling with tears. “Yes, my dear. But now that you are aware, you can move past it. Be absolutely certain you want those children or any other half-siblings in your life because you truly wish it, and not to heal past hurt.”

“I agree. And before the thought crosses your very sharp mind, that is not why I want you in my life. To heal past hurts. Well, perhaps a little. As you have done much to bring me some semblance of peace. And humanity. That is what my father killed in me on that terrible day. Basic decency and humanity. I see it now.”

Before she could reply, the bell sounded from the front door. Reluctantly, they broke apart, and Damon reached out to dash away a tear that had escaped the corner of her eye. Then the pad of his thumb brushed across her lips.

“I have to answer the door,” she murmured, reluctant to leave him. Oh, how he made her insides turn to jelly with just the slightest touch.

“Perhaps if we ignore them, they might go away,” Damon replied huskily, kissing her chin.