Page 45 of Hammer and Hops

He tilted his head to the side, the sun shining on his hair, turning his light blondish brown into honey-gold. He was beautiful. “Maybe. I mean, I’d like to find out. Wouldn’t you?”

“I would. Yes.”

“Good. Because the truth is that you make me smile more than I ever have in my whole life. You give me a balance I never had before, and I really need that. But I don’t know what the hell you see in me.”

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer, smelling the spicy, herbal scent lingering around him. “Ever. I see someone with a fiery spirit, who has passion for the things he loves, and I hope that will be me.”

“Me too.” He tilted his head up, and I kissed him. He squeezed my waist as he kissed me back, licking at my mouth with his tongue and sliding it against mine. He tasted sweet like soda. “You know, Cam…I didn’t give you that blow job as a cheap goodbye or whatever. I did it because I wanted it. I wanted you. And I still do. You.” He huffed. “You stopped my world in the best way.”

“Okay, but I guess I was still hurt over you not trusting me, and it made it seem like a cheap thank you and a brush-off.”

“I’m sorry. I never meant that.”

“Plus, what you said about that guy?”

“It wasn’t a thing with him. It’s a long story, but I don’t want to rehash it. He meant nothing, and honestly, the psychopath means less than nothing now.”

“I guess I was kind of jealous, but I can live with that. I know it was before us and not my business.”

The sun was setting, and the fire was blazing. Everett poured a couple of plastic cups of wine, and we sipped it and snacked on cheese, fruit, and crackers. Not the usual camping food I was used to, but it worked.

“You really went out of your way here, Ever. Why?”

“To be honest, I like you, maybe love you, and want this to work. I always have, even when it didn’t seem like it. I liked you too much, too fast.”

“Do you like anything outside of your brewery though? Come on? Do you like this?” I waved my arm around, indicating our little camp.

“I do, but…like I said, I have trouble with balance.”

“Did you say that? Are you actually admitting you work too much?”

Everett shrugged. “Sort of. I mean, I haven’t had anyone to show me how to make it all work. I had the brewery. That’s all. And it has to be successful at all costs. No matter the sacrifice. If it meant not seeing friends and family, so be it. But honestly, I didn’t have any friends to not see, except Lukas, and he’s with me on the brewery.”

“And your family?”

“I don’t know…” He stood and poured another cup. “They love me, but I don’t think they understand me. This is going to sound stupid, but I’ve always felt like I had a bar I had to reach before they would consider me worthy.” He’d mentioned that before, but maybe not so bluntly.

“Worthy? Of what? Their time, attention, love?”

“Yeah. All of that.”

“Have you talked to them about that? Because that’s not how unconditional love works.”

“No, I haven’t. But not all love is unconditional, even if it should be.” He was entirely more vulnerable than I’d thought. Things that I thought were unreasonable were justified in his mind. I liked that he continued to go after what he wanted despite the risk of losing people.

Well, he wasn’t going to lose me. “Let’s take this thing slow. I think neither of us has great experience with making a relationship work. And we still have a lot of getting to know each other to do.”

“I’ll take it. Slow it is.”

The next morning, I got up early and took Everett to a little hole of water where I’d been lucky catching fish before. It was still so dark out that I almost missed the trail.

“Shit. Cam. Wait.”

Everett had stepped in a deep puddle. He was wet nearly to his knee. “You trying to swim in there?”

Everett snorted. “Not hardly, but fucking hole was probably deep enough.” He kicked his foot.

“At least you have hiking boots on instead of sneakers.”