Page 34 of Total Jane Wreck

“Because,” he states simply, “I have a lot to say.”

“Couldn’t you just talk to yourself? Pretend that I’m here, listening with bated breath?”

Another scowl. “What does ‘bated breath’ even mean?”

“You’ve never heard that phrase before?”

“I’ve heard it,” he says, “but what does it mean?”

I sigh. “Well, I never went to college. But I believe it stems from abated breath, like someone has stopped breathing. If they’re waiting with bated breath, they’re so anxious to hear whatever it is that they’re holding their breath.”

“You’re just a font of knowledge.” Chet smiles. “Wanna explain what font of knowledge means?”

“I would, but your head might explode with all the new information.” I grin. “Besides, I was just about to take Miss Adele for a ride.” Slipping past Chet, I walk toward her stall. I’m pulling on Miss Adele’s reins, leading her out of the barn, thinking I’m home free, when Chet speaks to my back. “Jane!”

I turn and face him. “Yeah?”

Chet’s chest expands. “Let me just say, it was wrong of me to—”

“Stop.” I hold out my hand, palm flat, fingers spread. “If you think you’re gonna apologize for kissing me, think again. I won’t have it.”

A thick crease appears between Chet’s eyes. “You don’t understand. I never should have—”

“No! I do understand. Completely.” I release a whooshing breath. “There’s your whole list of reasons for staying away from me. There’s the fact that I sort of saw you naked and you sort of let me. There’s a power imbalance. You took advantage of my trusting nature. You’re still entangled in a past relationship, and you’re emotionally unavailable. As my boss, you should know better. Yada, yada, yada. Did I leave anything out?”

Chet opens his mouth to respond, only to press his lips back together. He shakes his head twice, quickly and abruptly.

“Okay, then. We’re good. Especially since I didn’t look away when you were in that shower stall, I was complicit in what happened by the firepit, and when you kissed me, I definitely kissed you back. Now can I go for my ride with Miss Adele?”

“In a sec.” Chet squeezes his eyes shut, pausing, like he can’t quite process everything I just said. “Um, you may have noticed that I’m renovating the blue barn.”

“Uh-huh,” I respond.

Chet shoves his hands in his pockets, casual-like. “I did it for my aunt Grace. She’s going through a rough patch and needed a place off the beaten path—you know, to practice self-care before making any major decisions. She’s a very private person. You’re not to disturb her, understood?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” After a beat of silence, I ask, “Now can Miss Adele and I go for that ride?”

Chet nods.

“Come on, girl,” I say to my second-favorite horse in the world. To Chet, I say nothing. Finally, Miss Adele and I are on our way.

The sky is overcast, and the air’s thick with the hush that most likely means rain by noon. I lead Miss Adele past the barn, her steps light and springy. We take the hill at an easy jog, and by the time we reach the lookout over the valley, she’s settled into that magic zone—ears flicking, eyes half-lidded, the big exhale of a horse who feels safe.

“Good girl,” I murmur. After a few minutes, Miss Adele and I finish our ride and aim for the back entrance of the barn. Inside, Axel Rose is mucking a stall at double speed, her blue T-shirt billowing around her. I slide off Miss Adele and lead her in for a brush-down.

“You started early,” I say, grabbing a curry comb.

“I was ready to get going,” she replies.

Nodding, I keep my eyes on Miss Adele’s neck. “Chet told me about the blue barn this morning. That his aunt Grace is practicing self-care?”

Axel Rose laughs. “Right. Only a billionaire would spend a truckload of money renovating an old barn for his aunt to practice self-care. Especially when he has that huge house. Why doesn’t she just stay in the guest room?”

“I know, right? It’s all so strange. But Chet is so strange. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t get a read on him.”

Axel Rose stops laughing. “Why do you need to get a read on Chet, Jane?”

Luckily, I’m saved from having to answer, because River walks into the barn. “Good morning, ladies!” Though he’s talking to us both, River winks at me. “Anything specific you’d like me to start on first?”