Page 133 of Bound in Ashes

“I still don’t know how that happened. I swear that fence was⁠—”

“Sorry,” Bridget said as the teacup shattered.

I stared, then looked down, the fine English roses painted onto white porcelain distorted by what looked to be a million little cracks.

I teared up again, but forced them back.

“It’s all right,” I said.

“Let me get a broom. I’ll get this cleaned up. I am so sorry, Asia,” Bridget said.

She looked to be on the verge of tears herself. And I patted her shoulder.

“It’s just stuff,” I said, shaking my head.

“That’s right. We know what matters now,” Bridget said.

I patted her shoulder, but rushed out of the kitchen, needing space, not wanting her to see me cry.

Asia

It was quiet, miserably so.

To think that peace was something I had always wanted, that I’d always loved, and now it was perverted into this. Everything that was dear to me was taken.

I let out a laugh, one that couldn’t contain the scorn that filled my heart. Guess that was the end of the world for you.

At least there were still the animal sounds, the snorts, the kicking of hooves, sounds of life. That was something. I told myself that. Willed myself to believe it. And after the second circle of the perimeter, hoping that maybe I did.

Except…

I circled yet again, my brain simultaneously moving at light speed and feeling mired in taffy. We had managed three weeks without Jack, and we were still here.

Sure, Miles rarely smiled anymore, and was rail thin.

Caitlin was snippy, looking for anything to criticize.

And Uncle Levi…

The circles under his eyes were darker, his skin ashen, no matter how much cocoa butter I rubbed on him.

He was listless.

He was dying.

I stumbled ever so slightly, but quickly righted myself.

Lourdes had found one of Aunt Kathleen’s books about herbal remedies. And her and Elliot had been foraging, trying to find local herbs that might help him. That was something. And if it came to it, and I prayed it wouldn’t, though, by now I should know what happened to prayers, I could go to town, maybe find something that could help him. And that was all I could do.

That had to be enough.

I circled yet again, then focused on the fence. Smiled when I looked at it, the rusted wire threaded through with fresh, new strands.

I watched Jack and Miles together, Jack stern, but surprisingly patient, as he showed the boy how to repair holes in the fence. I remembered the sound of his laugh as he had snipped the wire, then told Miles to do the same, only to have the boy recoil in horror at how hard it was.

But Jack fixed it.

I stumbled again, but didn’t take my gaze off the fence. With each second that ticked by, my smile dropped, the memories flushing back.