Page 43 of King of the Crease

“You were a hockey MVP? You kissed your teammate on the lips? And you’re attending a bar crawl next weekend? What the hell happened to my best friend?” Millie puts on her sunglasses, joins one of her sons on a sled, and whooshes down a snowy hill.

I sit in a tube waiting to go, wondering what kind of answer I’m going to have for her when I get down there. Because I have no fucking idea what I was thinking for any of that.

Especially that kiss.

That kiss that still tingles on my lips a day later.

Never have I been so brazen in my life, and that includes the time I attempted to give Queen Elizabeth II a high-five when I was a boy.

The abundant sunlight bounces off the snow on this Monday afternoon making sunglasses necessary. There’s a great sledding hill at the edge of Adam’s tree farm, which he opens up to the public after a good snow.

Cold air whooshes across my face as my tube and I pick up velocity down the hill. The tube turns backwards for the final part, and I cross my fingers that I don’t mow over any children.

Adam grabs my tube just before I careen into a gaggle of them.

“Thank you.” I stand myself up.

“I thought you were going to get air on the last part,” he says.

“Nicky is completely out of control,” Millie says with a satisfied grin.

Back home, Adam makes a big batch of mac n cheese, which we all feast on. Being out in the snow has the magical ability to drive up my appetite. All through dinner, Millie keeps glancing at me with a knowing smile. Just like she’d do at boarding school when she’d spot me drinking at dorm room parties.

I know you’re not the Goody Little Two-shoes prince you present yourself to be. You don’t have me fooled.

“Boys, when you’re done with your homework, we can watch a movie,” Millie says.

“Elf?” The oldest one asks.

“Again?”

The three of them nod aggressively.

“Okay. Fine,” she says. The boys run upstairs to start their homework, loud footsteps echoing through the house.

“My eyes always go to Will Ferrell’s crotch in those yellow tights,” she says as she and I clear the table.

“I didn’t know you had a thing for him.”

“I don’t! I don’t want to look, but I can’t look away. It’s so noticeable.”

I drag a fork over the kids plates, scraping their leftovers into the trash. “Thanks for taking me tubing. I’ve only gone sledding in Ardenia.”

“Of course. It’s great.” Millie takes the now-empty plates and stacks them in the sink. “So is now a good time to grill you about what a total slut you are, or should we wait until the movie?”

The glassware in my hands nearly falls to the floor. Millie’s flair for the dramatic is unending.

“I truly don’t know what came over me,” I say about the kiss. “I was so excited about coming out. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Duh. How did your teammates react?”

“Completely unfazed. It was perfect. It was everything I’ve ever wanted.” While I can’t speak for all gay men out there, I think the lot of us would prefer our sexual orientation reveal to be as much of a non-issue as it is for straight people. Maybe part of why I haven’t come out to more people is that it stops conversations in their tracks. It’s something we have to announce. How often do we announce things to our friends and family?

“I was out to friends, and it wasn’t a big deal.” I marvel over this insane fact again. “For the first time in my life, I was able to just be myself. No filters.”

“Except for the American accent.”

“An accent I can handle. That’s just how I say words. The words themselves require a more intense filter.”