Page 48 of King of the Crease

We finish the set and straighten up at the same time. By the grace of God, I don’t have a boner. Just a mind boner. Nick smiles at me, flushed and proud.

He shakes out his legs. “I can feel the burn already.”

“We’re not done yet. We’ve got split squats, leg curls, planks. You’re going to be on your back unable to move—shit. I did it again.”

“You’d think that every athlete would be somewhat homosexual after a workout routine.”

“If they’re not, the group shower should do the trick.”

Nick and I line up and do lunge walks down the length of the mat. We race each other. I win the first round, and Nick beats me in the second round. It makes for a fun workout.

“So what’s the dating scene like in Baltimore?” I ask when we take a break. We sit on the bench, each taking sips from our water bottle.

“It’s…fine.”

“You seem like you’d be a hot commodity there.”

Nick blushes, and I wonder if that was an overstep. But it’s true! Even if I was 100 percent straight, I wouldn’t feel ashamed to comment on his handsomeness.

“Actually, Hank. Can I be honest with you?”

“I’d hope so. It’s better than lying.”

He stares at the leg press machine and possibly beyond. “I haven’t dated much in Baltimore. In fact, I haven’t dated at all.”

He glances down and looks away.

“Hey, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not about quantity. It’s quality, pal.”

“There’s been no quality because there’s been no quantity.” He throws his head into his hands. There’s a cute aspect to watching him freak out. “God, it sounds worse when I say it aloud.”

“That’s okay, pal.” I pat his back and give it a calming rub. “You just haven’t found the right guy.”

“I haven’t been looking for the right guy. I’ve been too…” His jaw tightens with a hard edge. “It’s complicated.”

“Whenever you say it’s complicated, that’s just code for your dad.”

He ambles over to the wall of mirrors and gives himself a disgusted once over. My dad was one of my best friends. We’d share a beer (even in high school—whoops!), go fishing together. He was incredibly proud when I finished my plumber’s apprenticeship. Same with my mom. She was my biggest cheerleader, and she made the best apple pie I’ve ever tasted. Mom and Dad have been gone sixteen and fourteen years, respectively, and I still miss them every day. Sometimes I wonder how I’ve been able to navigate divorce, parenthood, and life on my own, without their wisdom. I can’t imagine having this kind of relationship with my parents, not having their unwavering support.

“What’s the deal with your dad? Who died and made him king?”

“Ugh. I’m going to be sick.” Nick bonks his head into the mirror and sinks to the floor, a crumpled up piece of paper of a man.

I sit down next to him. “Maybe when you get back to Baltimore, you tell him to back off. Tell him you’re gay and you’re allowed to stick it in whoever you like.”

“Hank—”

“Or is it whomever?”

That breaks him out of his pity party jail. His face lights up with a smile, dignified dimples creasing around his lips. I firmly believe that if we’re able to laugh, then all hope isn’t lost.

“It’s embarrassing how little control I have over my life. It’s like…do you ever feel like you’re a side character in your own life?”

“Uh, yeah.” Never has a question cut so quickly to my core. “I’ve been the funny best friend since I was a kid.”

“All I am is a spectator. I’ve spent my life watching things happen to other people: falling in love, having hot one-night stands, pursuing their passions. They get to have cool stories. I don’t have any cool stories.”

Everything Nick says pounds in my chest. I thought I was okay with being the comic relief in my own life, but why does that have to be my destiny?