Page 18 of Found in Wild Sage

He’s recently nailed my name and it’s unbearably cute. It also feels significant somehow.

“I’m sorry. He’s so excited to see you.”

“You never need to apologize for that. I’m happy to see you, Charlie.” I look down at him and a pang hits me. His bright blue eyes are the mirror of his mom’s, and he’s got the sweetest face. I don’t know what her ex looks like, but to me, this boy is all his mama.

Maybe that’s why he owns me.

I take the diaper bag from her, then the other bag she’s holding, so all she’s left with is the pan of what looks like brownies in her hands. I open the back seat and settle Charlie into a car seat. The slowest part of the process was reading the safety ratings and making sure I selected the best one. I do know how to properly install a car seat, but I swung by the fire department and had someone else check my work, just in case.

Grant could’ve. But that would’ve been inviting too many questions, and I’m not interested in that just yet.

Charlie jabbers, “Cool!” and “Wow!” like getting into my car is the most exciting thing he’s ever done.

Evie hovers behind me while I do his buckles, then moves into the space near the door when I retreat and kisses her boy, praising him for cooperating with me. She hands him a few toys from the diaper bag I’m holding and tells him to hang on to them and that the ride won’t be too long. This makes me wonder if he normally fights her getting into the car, though I don’t think they drive very often.

After settling her bags into the back, I start for the passenger side to open her door, but she’s already inside and closing it. By the time I reach her, she’s buckling, I’ve missed my window, and so I stride on by, around the front of the car, and to the driver’s side.

Totally normal.

“Thank you for picking us up. And thank you for having a car seat. I didn’t even think about that.”

I start the engine. “Of course.”

I navigate us out of downtown Juniper View, then broach the subject as Charlie babbles away in the back.

“I think we should go ahead and be engaged tonight.” There’s no preamble, but I’m not sure how I would’ve eased into the subject anyway.

“Okay. Do you have a time for the wedding in mind?” She sounds so calm.

It’s a relief, but somehow, it also scrapes against me. Should she sound like she’s talking about putting a letter in the mail? Shouldn’t there be some discernable emotion or feeling about all this?

What a fruitless line of questioning.

Maybe other people prefer black and white or as close to it as possible, too.

“I thought maybe next weekend if you want to get it done sooner, or two weeks? If the hearing’s in six weeks, it feels like having as much of that time already married would only be more beneficial.”

“Right. Yeah, that makes sense.”

I spend the next five minutes of driving analyzing every hitch of her breath and syllable of her words. Is she feeling pressured? Is she miserable? As much as I care for her, I don’t want this to feel like another trap for her—another situation she has to figure out how to escape. That is the very last thing I hope for.

We need a moment and we are only two minutes from the long drive that leads to my parents’ house, so I pull to the side of the road.

“Is everything okay?” She’s looking around, a little frantic.

“Yes, it’s fine.” I reach into my pocket and present her with a box. “Thought you should have this before we go if we’re really meant to be engaged.”

Her lips part, but no words come out.

It is hideous of me, but the way she does this… It nearly guts me with a desire so potent my head swims. I want to kiss her.

No. I don’t just want to kiss her.

I want to taste her, consume her, let her welcome me in and give me everything she has and I’ll return the favor.

Even my wants have never been in the gray. All or nothing. But this can’t happen with Evie.

I clear my throat and startle us both, her hand jumping as she reaches for the box. When she opens it, she whispers, “Oh.”