Page 3 of Found in Wild Sage

Is he realizing what he’s just said? I’ve never known him to say something he doesn’t mean, or even speak impulsively. If someone told me the phrase “a man of few words” was created in reference to him, I’d believe it.

There’s no way he means this, though. He can’t. It’s too much. It makes no sense. He can’t possibly⁠—

“Because I can.”

Because he…

“Because you can? How is that a response? How⁠—”

“Sorry I’m late! Dora and Arnold are coming right behind me. Doc, you ready for them? Is Dr. Martinez back from lunch?”

Maggie, my fellow front desk buddy, bustles in with cheeks pink from the summer sun and her graying hair pulled back into a spiral of silver curls. She’s lovely and determined to get her ten thousand steps each day, so she spends most of the lunch break walking unless she has errands to run.

She has no idea what she’s walked in on.

Hey, Mags. Welcome back. Dr. Ryan here was just offering to marry me. How was your turkey sandwich from the deli?

“Yes. Send them back when you’re ready. Cory and Deliah should be good, too.” Dr. Ryan says all of this to Maggie, then his gaze flicks to mine. “I’ll update you on that later.”

My eyes might be the widest they’ve ever been, nearly falling out of my head, though I do manage to keep my jaw from falling open.

He’ll update me on what? His suggestion I marry him? His utter regret over having made such an offer?

Either way, I cannot handle that tonight. I have a million things to do before I pick up Charlie, and I need time or space or something before I can face whatever is coming out of that mouth next.

Also, I have the feeling that once the utter panic over the case subsides, this whole exchange is going to plague me for weeks. Maybe months. The ache is already beginning in my chest, that crushing adoration of Declan morphing into utter humiliation that he’s trying to solve my problem by marrying me as if it’s no more consequential than scheduling an annual exam.

No. I can’t take any more of that today.

“It’ll have to be tomorrow morning,” I say, right as Maggie picks up a call and Dora and Arnold Lassiter walk in for their appointment.

Dr. Ryan greets them with a nod, then hits me with his gaze.

Oof. I lose track of everything else—all my thoughts, the people around me, and even the dread for what comes next. It’s just those blue eyes of his boring into me. Seeing past whatever it is I think I’m projecting and right to the heart of me.

Gosh, I hope he can’t see it—how it beats faster at simple eye contact.

He dips his chin ever so slightly. I huff a breath and do the same so he knows I get it. Or, I don’t, but I get that he’s not going to push me tonight. We’ll talk tomorrow.

And until then, I’ll figure out how I can decline his offer if for some wild reason he decides to make it again.

One thing is for certain: I cannot marry Declan Ryan.

CHAPTER TWO

Declan

My schedule is full today. This is for the best.

It keeps my mind from collapsing around thoughts of Evie. It prevents me from indulging in the fantasy of approaching her, taking her hand, pulling her after me into my office and demanding she marry me.

This isn’t actually something I want. Obviously. I wouldn’t want to demand such a thing. Or take from her. It should be… joyful. Exciting. Happening just because. Spontaneous. Like those words I said… They aren’t words I imagined saying until the very moment I spoke them.

Spontaneous isn’t something I do. For all my life, I’ve seen situations not exactly in black or white, but not with many shades of gray in between. I’ve worked to make this a benefit, not a detraction from my medical career. If anything, the practice is where I can be most creative and capable of hunting down the mysteries of the human body. Outside of that knowledge base, the world shifts back to two options instead of thousands, and it’s a relief to keep it simple.

Yet now that I’ve suggested we marry, the idea has taken root. Once it was a nonissue, a concept completely inapplicable to me or her considering we haven’t dated and I don’t even know what that looks like after ten years out of the dating pool. But now the idea has instantly become possible. Now that I’ve seen it, there’s no going back. Damn the way I function.

She seems to think I’ve said it with something less than full conviction, but if that’s true, then she knows me less than I thought.