Page 34 of Found in Wild Sage

“Major Chris Dale.” There’s a hitch in my voice when I say his name, but I power through. “There was no shame in that man’s life. He lived well by all accounts and was excellent at what he did. But he held up a mirror to my own life, his parents to my family, and there was no way to unsee the reflection.”

I don’t look at her right away because I can’t. I don’t feel shame for the way I changed paths, but I haven’t found peace about it yet, I don’t think. Dale also made me realize that I’d been fooling myself by pretending I didn’t want a family of my own. I’d worked hard to cultivate that mindset, had convinced my parents I was off the market indefinitely, but seeing him… I’ll never know why he, in particular, sliced me open, but he did.

His life, cut short, shoved the half-life I’d been living into my face. It forced me to look in the mirror and to acknowledge I needed to make changes. Obviously enough, I didn’t instantly start dating, but that locked-down, no-trespassing sign I’d hung was torn away.

A soft hand covers mine where it rests on the table, and heat instantly spreads over my skin. When I finally find her eyes, they are endlessly, mercilessly kind.

“Are you upset with the change you made?”

“No.” I let that land and feel it settle, burrowing in. It’s not simply something I tell myself, but something that is true, and recognizing that is a relief. And yet, it isn’t all.

“But I don’t know that I feel what I’m doing now is right, either.”

There, it’s out. I blink at how it tumbled right out, but her eyes hold me captive.

“You don’t like working at the clinic?” She pulls her hand away and picks up her fork.

For the first time, I wish I’d ruined the meal.

“It’s not that.” How can I verbalize what I don’t understand myself? “I’ve found I enjoy the work, the patients. The staff.”

I catch her eye now just to make sure she knows she is absolutely part of the equation here, and she has been since the moment I stepped foot in the clinic, and she welcomed me with a wide, stunning smile.

“But?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”

She drops her gaze back to her plate and I wish I could make it better. What kind of man has a career like mine, one where he gets to help people and earns enough to provide a nice life for himself, and still feels this… hole?

And yet, I know what at least part of it is. It’s the other element I recognized as I shook hands with Major Dale’s parents. It’s the gut-level knowledge that I want a partner. I want to build a life with someone, and it’s not fair to tell her that. She’ll doubt that I’m free to marry her all over again—she’ll worry about me missing opportunities to find someone.

She just can’t know that marrying her is the biggest step I’ve taken in that direction since I changed paths.

“So I finished up my obligation and came back as soon as I could after my dad’s event. Fortunately, Dr. Martinez was ready to retire from the JV Clinic and move to the Horizon Clinic full-time, so it was a natural transition. I’d been talking with them about that for a while, so I’m grateful the timing worked.”

“I’m glad it did.”

I’ve done enough talking to last me the rest of the night, and what I want more than her knowing me is for me to know her. So I dive in.

“Now it’s your turn.”

Her blue eyes hit mine with force this time.

“My turn?”

“Yes. Tell me what brought you here, and what happened before you got here.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Evie

There was always going to be a time I had to share the nasty details of my story with this man and there was never going to be a moment when I wanted to.

But he’s just been vulnerable with me, more so than I expected, and I owe him. More than that, I find I want to tell him. Obviously, he knows Trevor is terrible because he’s marrying me. And he must know at least some of the circumstances of my arriving here because he knows Jack helped me and that his own brother delivered Charlie, but he wants my version.

“You know a bit about Trevor.” Where do I even begin?

“I know that you needed Jack’s help to leave California, that Trevor and another man kidnapped you and Jack, and that after all is said and done, he’s still hurting you from afar.” His jaw flexes.