Page 44 of Found in Wild Sage

Then it’s over. The pastor says, “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Dr. and Mrs. Ryan.”

I exhale sharply as everyone claps and cheers, and Evie grasps my arm as we recess up the aisle, past the arch framing the space, and continue around the side of the house out of view. I bring us to a halt on the porch and release her, then turn to her.

She’s laughing, but there are tears, too. She gently dabs at the corners of her eyes.

“Evie.”

“I’m—” She shakes her head, lips pressed together.

She’s so beautiful, it hurts to look at her. I’ve never understood that, but I do now. I do whenever I look at her. She’s not sobbing and upset, thankfully, so the panic I’d normally feel at her tears is caged.

“I thought it went well,” I say, uncharacteristically filling the space while she works out what to say.

“Yes. It was beautiful.” She’s smiling still, and yet more tears slip out.

I am genuinely not sure how to help her. “Yes, it was.”

“Your mother’s incredible. I don’t know how she did all this.” Her words become a whisper, and she has to firm her chin and fight against more tears.

I step closer, wanting to console her.

Actually, no. That’s not it. What I want is to kiss her again. I want to sink into the moment with her, to look at this woman who is now my wife and know we’ll be together forever. I want to tell her I love her. I love what I know of her now and I know I’ll love her more every day.

I’m swimming in that hopeful high when she turns to me and takes my hands.

“I’m just so grateful, Declan. I’m so grateful for this.”

Everything in me recoils, but I keep my mask. I won’t let it slip. Exposure therapy, remember?

But it’s just the reminder I need.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Evie

Mary Ryan is a miracle worker and a genius, and a sneak. It’s a baffling, wonderful combo.

The wedding has been a dream, and here at the end of the night as I slide into a limo she’s hired for us, she gives me one long hug.

“Welcome to the family.”

But it’s this that had me thanking Declan. I wanted to say so many things, but that came out. I saw him blink almost like I’d slapped him, though I can’t say why. He’s said he doesn’t want my gratitude and I get it. But how can I not tell him?

This was amazing. I want to kiss you again. I’ve wanted you for so long and this is all so surreal.

I’d like to get to the body worshipping part now.

So many thoughts shot through my head, but the resounding note was gratitude and love for this person who was giving up so much for me and Charlie. My tears were happy, yes, but they were also a heart-crushing ache as I thought about how happy everyone was for Declan. Yes, of course, for me, but his family was elated. Their smiles spread so wide their faces were in danger of splitting open.

I couldn’t pretend this isn’t a sacrifice when I witnessed them. They were all so connected and supportive of each other, and he was allowing me to fold into that.

There’s no escaping it, and I’m glad I had the reminder. I can’t get carried away in the fairytale Mary has created. I need to keep my feet on the ground and remember what I owe him. That he’s done this out of kindness.

Yes, our kiss was fire, and even the one during the ceremony sent a shiver of anticipation through me, but that’s just chemistry. And maybe my crush.

By the time the limo drives away and the road behind us is littered with sunflower petals from everyone tossing them as we rushed out to the car, my heart has resumed the slow, steady ache.

It’s not unfamiliar. If anything, it has intensified lately.