Page 46 of Found in Wild Sage

“Dec! Hi, Dec! Mama!”

He’s so chipper and sweet, everything in me aches. It’s the theme of the day.

He lunges for Declan, and my new husband catches him without reservation. He smiles at Charlie and touches his forehead to my son’s.

“Hi, Charlie. Did you have fun today?”

“Yeah!”

“Good. I’m glad.” Declan’s blue gaze finds mine for a second before he adds, “I’m going to have to give you back to your mama so I can get home.”

This was always the plan, I remind myself. We were never going to spend the night together. That’s not what this is. It’s not even that I’m desperate for the physical parts. It just feels so awful to say goodbye right now, and I can’t even identify why.

Except I’m not a stupid woman, so of course I know why. After such a beautiful day, I wish with everything I am that this was real. That we had a future. And his clipped response in the limo paired with him leaving now, before we can talk about anything… all of it confirms it is precisely what we agreed it is.

It’s human to feel this gnawing sadness. It’s understandable. I only wish there were some way I could stop it—but whether I mean the feeling or the reality that this is simply an arrangement, I’m not sure.

Maybe worse, it has shoved me firmly back into the self-doubt I’ve tried to master. It’s less about doubting Declan, even, and more about suspecting that I have, yet again, been taken in by a mirage. But this time, it’s one of my own making.

When Declan reaches the door, he opens it but pauses. Charlie is gnawing on a teether toy, then squirms to get down, so I set his feet on the hardwood, and he lumbers back toward the rug and his other toys.

“Thank you for today.” His voice is low and gruff.

“You can thank me, but I can’t thank you?” There’s an obvious edge to my response.

“Yes.”

I scowl.

“I’m sorry.”

Oh no, he didn’t. “You can apologize, and I can’t?”

He shrugs the smallest bit.

Our gazes are stitched together, and the moment tightens around us. Something shifts, I can’t tell what. His eyes turn hungry and heated. His focus drops to my mouth, then pops back up.

“You are a breathtaking bride, Evie. You’re an even more beautiful person. I’m honored to be your husband, and I promise you I’ll do whatever I can to be a good one.”

It’s hard to swallow past the lump in my throat, but I manage it. I can’t speak, though, so I just stand there.

It feels like there’s more he’s going to say. He lingers, eyes shifting between mine. My pathetic little heart is waiting, waiting for a little something more. Waiting for a sign that all of this affected him like it did me, and that maybe there’s more here than just doing this for the optics. That maybe I haven’t done the wrong thing, or fooled myself yet again.

But he doesn’t say anything else except, “Goodnight, wife,” and then he leaves.

Heroically, I keep it together another two and a half hours before I put Charlie to bed.

Then I cry myself to sleep on my wedding night.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Declan

Finn eyes me over the Jerry’s Diner table after settling in for lunch the Thursday after the wedding.

He’s been staring at me since Sam took our order four minutes ago. That’s enough eye contact with this one to last me a while.

“What do you want? Just tell me and let’s get this over with.”