Page 75 of Found in Wild Sage

So I follow her to a log serving as a natural bench next to a small thatch of mountain wildflowers. We’re now far enough from the center of activity, I can’t hear specific words people are saying.

I sit down next to this woman who has offered me nothing but kindness and will myself to keep it together.

“Evie, my dear. I’m so glad you’re here with us this year.” Her clear blue eyes nearly match the sky. They’re lighter than her children’s and husband’s, but still quite familiar at this point.

“I’m glad I’m here.”

“Are you?”

My head snaps up to look at her again, and the concern is underlined in each of her lovely features. Reddish brown brows arched high, eyes somehow sad, and lips tucked in a way that express worry. Over me.

“I am.” My chin wobbles, but I bite my bottom lip to get a grip.

Mary’s kind face softens even more, and she smiles, running a hand over my hair.

“Oh, sweet girl. I know we’re new friends, but I hope you know you’ll always have a place here. You and your son will always have a place here, I swear it. And I hope Charlie will never stop calling me Gammy.”

That does it. Tears spill over and I’m an instant mess. I don’t even know what I’m grieving, but my heart feels battered. I just love them all so much, and I love them for loving Charlie and folding us in and accepting me and Dec even as we’re trying to figure out what any of this means.

“I just love you all,” I say-cry, only barely intelligibly. I want to tell her that even this, her hug, is something I haven’t had and certainly don’t know how to keep.

She holds me tight to her, and only after my crying stops does she pull back and smooth away the hair from my face. I imagine the thousands of times she’s done this to each of her kids—her soft, warm hands bringing them comfort. This, maybe more than anything I know about the Ryan family, makes clear why they’re all so wonderful.

“We love you, Evie. You’re a special person. You are strong and smart, and you are raising Charlie so beautifully.”

I sniffle and smile. “He’s the best.”

“He is. And you and my son…”

My heart quakes for fear of what she’ll say. What words is she searching for?

Her sky blue eyes find mine. Gone are the compassion and gentleness and in their place is a glint of steel and a glimmer of humor.

“You and my son need to have an honest conversation, consummate your marriage, and let yourselves love each other like you want. I think that’ll help all of this.” She cups my cheek, winks, and stands. “Shall we get some dinner?”

She knows… everything?

She knows. She knows it’s fake.

She knows everything.

She holds out her hand to me and I take it, mentally stalled out back there where Mary Ryan said the words consummate your marriage to me.

The tears have stopped. I may be on the verge of laughing hysterically or running around screaming because I have no idea what to do with myself.

But for now, I let Mary tuck my arm in hers and guide me back into the fray.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Declan

Evie is quiet all night, though not withdrawn.

She laughs as Finn and Da tell their usual campfire stories, and then when Lily and Poppy put on a show.

She disappears into the camper my parents designated for us for a while when Charlie gets drowsy. I offered to help with bedtime earlier, but she said she had it. I suspect she might need a moment alone.

“Time for us to head out before it gets too dark to navigate the roads safely.” Davis stands and takes Rowan’s dirty napkin, Saoirse’s empty cup, and barely makes eye contact with Eirinn.