Page 13 of A Beautifully Crafted Lie

“You already are!” I squeeze his hands, trying to reassure him despite my growing discomfort. “You’re the best person I know. You’re the only one keeping me sane in this godforsaken place. I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to be alone.” It’s the truth, a dreadful truth I’m going to be forced to face soon.

“Bryn…”

“Yes?”

“I think you’re amazing and…” He shifts his weight from one foot to the other. A whistle of flapping wings draws my attention from my thundering heart to the raven coming to perch on the fence post beside us, judging me with a sideways glance. Declan clears his throat, his eyes finally meeting mine once more. “Will you wait for me?”

I try to keep my panic from my face. Relax your posture. Breathe. If I say yes, I’m practically accepting a proposal. If I say no… If I say no… My chest hurts. What we have is meant to be without commitment. Meant to be two people just, well, enjoying each other. Now it’s so much more, and it’s terrifying. He’ll be broken if I say no, but I can’t say yes, can I?

Declan clears his throat, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Will you?” he asks again, growing anxious.

I pick at my cuticles, nodding too abruptly to seem graceful. I don’t know what I want, but I know that I don’t want to lose him.

“Please say yes.” He leans in, resting his hand on the back of my head. His lips press against mine, his tongue begging for entry, to claim me like he has so many times before. I remain rigid with uncertainty. My heart and my head disagree on what I should do. One tells me to run while the other forbids me to go.

Declan breaks our kiss a few seconds later, and I open my eyes to see him grinning from ear to ear. I haven’t given him an answer, but perhaps the kiss is enough of one to satisfy him.

“I need to get back to Laoise.” I step back, needlessly tugging my dress into place. My cheeks burn with an emotion I can’t name as my head spins.

“I’ll go with you.” He smiles down at me, taking my hand in his.

What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? I shake my head and pull back, freeing my hand from his grip. He frowns, horror spreading like wildfire across his features. “What’s wrong?” There’s a hardness to his voice that wasn’t there before.

“Nothing.” I force a smile, taking his hand and pressing it to my lips. What am I doing? What the hell am I doing?!

“I am glad it’s not only me thinking those very thoughts. You can do so much better than the servant boy,” the creature adds as shadows spread like tendrils of pitch beneath the canopy of the stall beside us. Anger burns through me. Anger and rage and guilt and disgust.

“How dare you!” I snap back.

“Seems like I have forgotten the workings of the human heart. All its infantile reasonings.” Its presence subsides as whatever it is retreats back into nothingness.

“It’s my family. We need to be careful,” I lie. In fairness, it’s partly true. They wouldn’t willingly approve of a betrothal to a Duskrun, but I’m not Laoise. I’m not the one with a bright future ahead of me.

“What’s the worst that can happen?” He gives me a hesitant smile.

“Nothing good, that’s for certain.”

Declan nods, accepting my answer. I hate myself for playing on his insecurities. He deserves so much better than to feel judged by my family. Declan is a hundred times the person they could ever hope to be.

“The first prince is on his way. When he arrives, I’ll formally pledge myself to his service. I promise you, Bryn, I’ll do whatever possible to take you away from this place. If not now, I’ll come back for you and ask your father for your hand when I’ve made a home for myself. And a name worthy of yours.” His green eyes glisten as he looks at me.

“I… I have to go. I’m so sorry, Declan. I’ll come and find you later. Forgive me.” My steps are quicker than usual as I head toward Laoise, but I don’t look back, afraid to see disappointment on Declan’s face. What am I doing?

“Making a royal mess.” A sarcastic answer rumbles from the back of my mind.

“I wasn’t asking you.”

“Lee?” I touch my fingers to her elbow. Guilt becomes a living thing within me, begging to leave this place at once.

“Brynney, look!” She turns to show me a gem filling her entire palm, absorbing all light in its deep, sparkling depths. It’s as dark as the evening sky, swirling with stars, breathtaking, yet frightening at the same time. The effects of the poppy are waning; I can see it in her eyes and her improved coordination. It’s even apparent in the way she speaks, thank heavens, but her pain will return if I don’t administer another dose soon. This time taking better care with the dosage.

“It’s…” Like something I’ve never seen.

“Gorgeous, isn’t it?” Her tone is cheerful, a stark contrast to the ominous-looking gem in her hand.

“It’s beautiful,” I admit. “We have to go home.” I shake my head to dismiss the vendor. My skin prickles with the sensation of being watched, setting my nerves on edge.

“I don’t want to leave,” Laoise protests, pouting her lips like a child.