Page 50 of The Crown’s Temptation

"No."

He stands slowly and crosses to the bed and sits on the edge of it. Takes off his shirt. I stare at him with every ounce of fury I can produce, which is embarrassingly little given that I can barely turn my head.

"Get the fuck out. I don't want you in my bed. You are not⁠—"

"I'm not trying to be your pathetic husband." His voice is flat. "The husband that let you get killed to begin with." He reaches over and takes my chin in his hand. "Every time I have left you alone. Every time you have been out of my sight. You have almost died, Ashen."

"Fuck you." My voice is hoarse. A tear runs down my face before I can stop it.

He takes his thumb and brushes it away. "Fuck you too."

"I don't want you in this bed."

"I am not letting you sleep here alone when you can barely move and when this castle is full of creatures that prefer human blood." He pulls the covers back. "Creatures who think they have free range now that their king is missing."

I go still. "Missing?"

"Sevrin. Whatever happened that night, Sevrin was also harmed. I do not know where he is or what his status is. Only that he is not dead."

I breathe out.

Teorin laughs. Bitter and low. "The man who treated you like shit from the moment you arrived. You pine for him. Give him children. And his disturbed brother who starved you and locked you away, you're relieved he's alive." He looks at me. "But the man who has been there every single time, you hate."

"That man is a liar."

"Maybe." He settles in beside me and I have no ability to stop him. "Maybe, Ashen. I am a liar. I have done terrible things that make me unworthy of the dirt beneath your feet. That is true." A pause. "But I am also something else entirely because of you. I had the perfect window to take Rathmor. All I had to do was let them bury you. Colsar would have been too distraught to fight. Sevrin is missing."

I say nothing.

"But instead I brought you here. I became regent to a kingdom where I am vulnerable. Where I do not know a soul." His voice drops. "There are creatures in this realm I have never heard of. I do not understand why the humans are so obedient or why not a soul has questioned me sitting on this throne. I do not understand any of it. And I hate it. It is a weakness I cannot afford."

He turns his head toward me. "Yet here I am. In Darkway Palace. I have given you pints of my blood. My marrow." A bitter laugh. "What else, Asharin? What else would convince you?"

"Convince me of what?" I say. "I am grateful for what you have done. You have always saved me and I know that. But you lied to me in a way that still hurts." I pause. "And the coin purse...that is something I cannot forgive."

"What coin purse?"

I sigh. Hating that this has become a conversation. Hating that I am in bed with someone I am too weak to push away. "Your sigil. Found on the coin used to pay the ones responsible for what happened in the mountain pass."

"What are you talking about?"

"I had to flee Alarna while eight months pregnant. On our way to Shalvar, someone gave us the wrong coordinates. It was not a safehouse. It was a trap. I was bitten. I went into labor. I almost died and so did my children."

Teorin goes pale. "What?"

I turn my head away. Tears are running down my face. The memory of it all pressing in at once. Not knowing if Colsar was alive, the woman who helped us being killed, Ari born not breathing. And then Colsar climbing into bed with me and the children afterward. The way he had looked at us.

I miss him. I miss all of them.

"I would never," Teorin says. He grabs my hand. "Asharin. I would never do that. I am selfish, yes. But why would I let you get killed? If anything your children's births would have benefitted me." His voice goes rough. "And you of all people should know I have no interest in seeing you die. I had no knowledge you were even leaving Alarna."

I say nothing.

"Then why was it your coin purse?"

He is quiet for a while.

Then, "Fuck."