Page 87 of The Crown’s Temptation

She almost smiled.

"Because a Queen of Alarna cannot be broken."

CHAPTER 18

Loyalty and Selfishness

Darkway Palace

The stone was cold in my palm when I opened my eyes.

I lay in the guest chamber of Darkway Palace and looked at the ceiling and did not move for a long time. The candle had burned down considerably. Fiersa was asleep in the chair by the door.

I pressed my hand flat against my chest and felt my own heartbeat.

My mother had walked into the Hall of Punishment knowing what was going to happen. She had let it happen because the alternative was telling him where the children were and she was not going to do that. She had thrown herself into a pit to retrieve the one thing that mattered and she had crawled through the dark of Morrath bleeding to death to get it back.

I had spent my entire life believing I was someone's inconvenient secret.

I had been someone's war.

Axar emerged from the shadows. I wiped the tears from my face as I sat up.

“I wish I had never learned the truth. Because now there is no version of this story where he survives.” I laughed bitterly. “I may be trapped here, but I will find a way. The King of Yorali will die.”

He nodded, as though this was exactly what he expected me to say.

"He saw me," I added. "When I was poisoned, I was in a nightmare. The yellow room. The North Tower. He was siphoning magic." My hands shook. "Ivanoxa was there. Another sister was there. He was horrible."

I had not yet told anyone of the North Tower nightmares until now. It had felt like a risky thing to share. But I had seen and felt the look of trust my mother had for him. The devotion he had for her. And I trusted him.

Axar Rathmor. My Adjasar.

I kept going because now I did not want to stop. “In the memory. Orsin told me he was coming for me.” I looked at Axar. "I want revenge, but what I need is survival."

"Then you will need more than a knife," he said finally.

His next words were quiet. “There is more you need to know from the Witchward. So that you understand."

He pulled a chair up close to the bed. "Your mother was always steps ahead of everyone, even at the end. Because she always kept herself informed. You must be the same if you wish to survive what comes next. So listen carefully."

I said nothing.

"Tamal killed Jularin weeks ago. I do not know why. What I do know is that he has always hated her and idolized your mother."

He paused. "After Ryaran died, the King of Yorali claimed she died in childbirth. The child was never publicly known to have survived."

"And Ivanoxa?" I asked carefully.

"She is competent and smart, but having to learn to survive in the Yorali court has made her cold." He paused. "She loved your mother dearly. She was a small child when she died but still remembers her care. Your mother left a memory stone for Ivanoxa. Her plan was to one day get the throne and find you."

"Me? I do not understand. She never once has⁠—"

"You misunderstand," Axar interrupted. "When word came that the newborn heir to Alarna was missing, it was never framed as being Ryaran's child. Alarna wanted your father to believe they bought the lie that she and the child had died in childbirth."

He paused. "Jularin was determined to find you and was overwhelmed with guilt, but to her children it looked like she had entirely abandoned them and now cared only for another child."

"Do they not--"