Page 17 of Apparently, I’m Torture

I called them as soon as I rolled out of bed and brushed my teeth, accepting the offer.

But it wasn’t over. I still had to reject South Bronx. And I had to figure out a way to tell Lilly.

South Bronx meant a lot to her. When she was a kid, her dad ran out on her and her mom, leaving them for a second family he’d hidden in Greece. I didn’t know her then, but I heard Lilly didn’t take the abandonment well. Her anxiety worsened, and her mother helped her find ways to cope. They were close. I heard that her mother, Harriet, was the sort of person who taught Lilly to dance like no one was watching.

Then Uncle Henry stepped up, taking in his niece when her mother died of cancer.

Harriet was a Kappa Delta legacy, a teacher, and Lilly dreamed of working at South Bronx so she could walk the same halls her mother once did.

I knew what being there meant to her. But I just couldn’t be by her side anymore.

She burst into the shop, gripping my attention as I looked up. She was rubbing sleep from her eyes, ruffling her bangs as she made it to the counter.

Without saying hello, she took off her jacket, threw it over the display case, and stepped close, thrusting her face into mine, her eyes pinned on me. Heat spread, scattering down my spine until I had to clench my fingers to keep from gripping her waist.

“Uh, what are you doing?” I asked, trying to sound put-off.

“We need to talk about this, Shawn. What are you going to do?” she asked, her green eyes sweeping over my face.

“What’re you talking about?”

She shifted on her feet, moving closer, and I had to hold my breath. I didn’t want to take in her toasted cinnamon scent, I didn’t want to fight staring at her lips, I didn’t want to struggle with this need to touch her. This was exactly what I was trying to avoid.

“I’m talking about South Bronx. I accepted and so has Mia. But you–” she poked her finger into my chest “–might lose your spot to Trevor if you don’t hurry.”

I was completely thrown. “Trevor’s going to work there?”

Trevor was Stacey’s cousin. He was an okay guy, a decent teacher. I had nothing against him, aside from the fact that he followed Lilly around our campus like a bad smell.

“He will if you don’t make a decision.”

From the corner of my eye, I watched Tristan walk in holding our two bowls of oatmeal.

Lilly wasn’t fazed by our sudden lack of privacy. She kept her stare on me as she said, “And I don’t want that to happen. I want you there.”

Having Lilly this close made it hard to breathe. It felt like air was being squeezed out of my lungs, and I couldn’t think straight. Sweat prickled my skin as her green gaze pierced me.

“Here, guys. You better sit and eat before the morning rush starts,” Tristan said, arms outstretched, offering our breakfast to us.

Saved by the boss. I managed to grip my bowl and step away from her, listening to her huff at my back and mumble under her breath.

I want you there.

I knew what that meant, even if my body didn’t.

This was huge. We were about to change jobs, living situations, priorities. Everything. On top of all that, Lilly was trying to wrap her head over being surrounded by her mother’s memory. And if she could prevent one thing from changing, if we still worked together, maybe she’d be able to cope with the rest of it.

But I already made my decision. I had to get away from this.

She was all I thought about, and every second she wasn’t with me felt like hanging on the edge of a cliff. I was just barely holding on. My fingers thrummed with pain, until I could feel it throughout every other part of me.

I wanted her so badly, and it hurt to need something I knew I couldn’t have.

I had to leave. I had to get away from this.

Now

Chapter 7