Page 72 of Apparently, I’m Torture

He taught them what it was to be fair, to take pride in creating something, and to recognize that anything worth doing wasn’t usually done quickly. And, like he once did with Shawn, he taught them how to get the most out of their growing bodies.

They joined Tristan in the gym before opening the shop together each morning, and those former skinny-limbed boys now rivalled both my ex-boss and ex-friend, as they stacked boxes of coffee cups into the studio.

The four of them working together was a beautiful sight.

“We should make a calendar,” I muttered to Nikki as Shawn wiped sweat from his brow. “Think of the money we’d rake in.”

She laughed and winked at me. “Not a bad idea.”

Karim and Dean were the first to drop off. Once the shop was emptied of its flood of customers, the two weary twenty-somethings left to shower. Tristan and Shawn picked up the slack once the closing routine was done.

When the cups overflowed from the studio into the backroom, cramping the space, I was left to pace the small remaining area as Tristan tossed Shawn a set of keys.

“You guys remember how to lock up when you’re done.” His dark brown glance landed on me. “Lilly, it’ll be okay. We’ll help you sort this out.”

With those parting words, they left the shop to Shawn and I.

He stood next to me and lifted the hem of his shirt to wipe his face. Sweat traced the lines of his pecs to his abs, and I had to swallow a new pool of drool as he said, “We’re almost done.”

The sun was setting and I was more than a little worried at this point. This had taken the entire day. But Shawn seemed unfazed as he turned to the alleyway and examined the back of the truck.

Shawn bent and lifted the steel ramp, his muscles straining under the fabric of his shirt, and I put both hands to my mouth as he pushed the steel sheet back into place.

He turned to me and nudged his chin to the side. “Lock it for me?”

His arms were braced against the metal as I rounded the truck, putting locks into place, nodding at him when I was done. His arms swung by his side, and he offered me a smile as we both went back into the shop.

“That’s done,” he said, standing and taking in the mountain of cups in front of us.

I sighed and hugged my arms to myself. “This is all my fault.”

“It’s Trevor’s. Didn’t we already decide that?”

“If I never dated him in the first place, this never would’ve happened.”

He stiffened. “Yeah, well. No point regretting it now, is there? You chose him, and now we have to deal with it.”

The harsh edge of his tone made me wince. “Shawn, I made a mistake. I was scared to death of failing an exam and getting kicked out of my sorority. It wasn’t exactly easy for me.”

With his arms folded across his chest, he turned to me. “It wasn’t easy for me either. I had to watch them take advantage of you, and every time I tried to help, you pushed me away.”

“You didn’t try to help. All you did was lecture me.”

“Fuck,” he swore, shaking his head. “Why am I still doing this? Why are we still arguing about this?”

“Because you won’t talk to me,” I yelled, braced on my toes. “Because you pushed me away, pulled me back, pushed again, and won’t give me a reason for any of it.”

“I thought you didn’t want me,” he yelled as he stepped close, and I had to look up to meet his glare.

I scoffed, digging a finger into his hard chest. “Oh, please. You didn’t want me. You’re the one who pushed me away, Shawn.”

He cocked his head, his voice dropping as he said, “You think I don’t want you?”

I let out a bitter laugh. “Of course you don’t. I’m torture, aren’t I?”

“That doesn’t mean what you think it does.”

“Bullshit.”