Page 124 of Apparently, I’m Trouble

Rochelle straightened in her chair, shrugging as she said, “Well, I never thought you’d fall in love, but I did think that if it ever happened, your daughter would be happy for you.”

Kira’s expression dropped into a scowl, and Rochelle tutted at the sight of it. “Oh, come on. What’s that face for? Because you’re mad your dad’s fallen in love? I know that’s not the real problem here. It isn’t him and Mia. The problem is whoever took the picture in the first place.”

At that, Kira stood from her chair and stormed out of the room.

Out on Rochelle’s patio, the cool breeze lifted strands of Kira’s hair and swept them over her shoulders. She still seemed so delicate to me–this small, uncertain, hopeful little girl.

I was the person she trusted to fix things. I was the one she relied on when life got hard. I’d helped her get here, to this place, where her and her mom’s dreams for her were about to become a reality.

But somehow, I’d broken everything. And I didn’t want that to be true anymore. There had to be a way to fix this. For both of us.

“I’m not upset that you’re in love.” Kira didn’t turn around. She spoke into the crisp air as she said, “I’m upset that it happened after Mom died.”

I stared out over her head, studying the clouds. “I know.”

“It should’ve been her.”

A heavy sigh rolled out of me. I couldn’t blame her for feeling like this. In a perfect world, Tash never would’ve died, and we would’ve been married. The perfect happy family.

But Tash and I weren’t in love. And I couldn’t change that.

“I remember holding you for the first time.”

“Dad,” Kira complained, rolling her eyes. I went on anyway.

“You were this tiny, wrinkled, pink thing.”

She groaned, leaning her elbows on the railing and putting her head in her hands.

“And Kira, until that moment, I just–I didn’t know what love felt like. Then, there it was, in my hands.”

Her head shifted slightly in her grip, and I knew she was listening.

“I had everything I needed right then and there. And it’s still like that every time I look at you. Your mom felt the same. We didn’t need to love each other, because we loved you.”

She sighed, lifted her head, and turned to look at me.

“You’re the best thing I will ever, ever do. You come first in here–” I patted my chest “–and you always will. Loving Mia won’t take that away. It can’t.”

Her bottom lip trembled. “I know. That isn’t the problem. I just wish it was Mom. I wish she was the one who made you happy.”

“I know. And I know none of this is fair. When your mom got sick, it changed everything. But it’s okay that we’re okay now. It’s what your mom wanted for us.”

“She didn’t want us to forget her. And being happy without her feels like that.”

Instinct took over as her eyes filled with tears, and I pulled her to me.

Holding her tight, I spoke into her hair. “You look at all the ways you’re living your life and feel like you’re letting her down by enjoying it without her. But that’s not what she would’ve wanted.”

Kira sniffled into my chest, and I rubbed her back in the slow, comforting circles she liked.

“You know your mom. You know no one could ever replace her. She just wanted us to be happy. And there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Chapter 47

Mia

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