Page 129 of Apparently, I’m Trouble

I smoothed my hair back from my face, hoping Kira didn’t notice the way my hands shook as I combed through my strands. I set the notebook down on the meeting room table and didn’t mind Kira’s curious glance as she eyeballed it.

“You were going to see the principal about Miss Fares?” she asked.

I tried to give her a smile, but really, I wasn’t okay. Not after seeing him. Not like that.

Ending things with Theo was the hardest thing I’d ever done, and it had taken a painful toll on me.

I couldn’t eat; I could barely sleep. Everything felt like it cost too much effort. Cooking, dressing, talking, teaching. What was the point? Nothing made me happy anymore.

But seeing him, seeing how tired he was, how broken. It made it all worse.

Why did doing the right thing have to hurt him so much?

Just thinking about it made me want to cry. But I’d done enough of that. I had to pull out whatever small bit of focus I had left and use it to help my friend get her job back. Crying helped no one.

I swallowed back the lump in my throat and finally said, “Yes. I wanted to see if she’d reconsider giving Miss Fares her position back.”

Kira peered at me curiously. “I don’t get you, Miss Walker.”

I barked out a laugh because her sudden change in topic was such a teenage thing to do. And honestly, it was kind of nice to be nudged out of my feelings like that.

“That makes two of us, love.”

“I mean, you’re so funny and nice, and you do things for people all the time.” She frowned. “But what you did with my dad was selfish. I just don’t get it.”

I let out a sigh. “I know, and I’m trying to fix it. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”

Oh no. I could feel them. The tears were coming back. Stupid feelings. Why wasn’t there a pause button for emotions?

“But this is hurting my dad,” she reasoned, with that puzzle-solving expression on her face.

I blinked furiously. I couldn’t cry in front of Kira. There was no way that was okay.

“Yeah,” I managed. “But it was upsetting you, and if it makes you feel better–”

“It doesn’t.”

I lifted a shoulder. I couldn’t think of anything to add to that, so I said nothing.

A few beats later, Kira screwed up her nose, like she didn’t want to say whatever was about to come out of her mouth next but knew she had to.

“What do you… love about my dad?” she asked, and her question made me smile.

“There are so many things. And I’m not sure you really want to hear them.”

She twisted her lips like she’d just tasted something disgusting. “Just… one then? What do you love most?”

I didn’t have to hesitate. I’d been thinking about this for days–listing all the reasons why it couldn’t work with Theo and then why it could. I couldn’t think about anything else. That, despite the way we started, somehow he’d managed to become exactly what I needed.

“He doesn’t need me to take care of him.”

Kira gave me a look then. She didn’t get it.

“I spend a lot of time taking care of people, and he doesn't need me to do that for him.”

“Okaaaay.”

I laughed. “When I’m with him, I don’t have to worry about what he’s thinking or feeling. I can just be myself–He wants me to be myself. And that makes me feel safe.”