Page 40 of Witchbane

I studied her face, trying to gauge whether she really wanted to know or was dreading being told because she suspected why I was so troubled. She was the only person I could trust with my concerns. I decided to pass over my feelings for Rue Underwood, since to share them would tax a mother’s love beyond endurance. I forced myself to continue.

‘I’m sorry, Mother, but’—I refrained from mentioning the dark side of my father that I had never been able to accept, aware my mother preferred to believe he had never been violent to her in those early years—‘I admit that recent events have made me question Father’s work.’

I felt her hand tense in mine. She didn’t speak immediately but contemplated what I had said.

‘Theo, whatever can have happened to undermine your trust in him?’ She closed her eyes and sighed. ‘I take it you’ve seen a darker side to your father than I would have wished, but you must never forget he does have a good side.’

I kept my thoughts to myself on this.

‘Personally, whatever has passed between him and me, I will always be grateful to him for raising me up in the world.’

I hadn’t heard this before. ‘What do you mean? What did he do for you?’

Her cheeks flushed slightly. ‘I was one of twelve children.’ She pulled one of her hands away and wiped her eyes. ‘You have never seen poverty like my childhood. You think your father unkind at times?’ She sighed. ‘You have no idea how a father can treat their children. My mother secured work for me as a kitchen maid in a large house, but I ran away when I was badly treated by my master.’

‘Mother,’ I whispered, enraged to think of anyone hurting my gentle mother. Then my curiosity returned. ‘How did Father help you?’

‘His horse almost ran me down on the road. It was foggy and I stumbled at the wrong moment.’ She smiled slightly as she reminisced. ‘Or maybe at the right moment.’ I saw affection in her eyes. ‘He dismounted and after checking my injuries took me back to his home where his mother and their maid cared for me until I recovered.’

‘And by then you were in love with each other?’ I asked, lost in the romance of the story.

She gave me a sympathetic smile. ‘Maybe not in his case. He had recently been disappointed in love and he supposed it would take time for his feelings towards me to match my own for him. He offered his hand in marriage and promised that no one would ever treat me badly again. How could I not be devoted to a man who vowed to protect me and give me a home and the family I craved?’ She raised one of my hands and kissed the back of it.

I understood for the first time why she had remained loyal to him.

She sighed. ‘How terrible my life would have been had I not stumbled in front of his horse. I am not a man, and if I ever decided to leave him, where would I go? I have no money and few friends.’ She smiled. ‘Anyway, I have all I need here.’

The weight of her trust in my loyalty pressed on me but I was glad she had been saved, even if by him. I now knew for certain that she would never turn her back on my father, and also how much it meant to her that I did his bidding and preserved our family life as it had always been.

‘Darling Theo. I wish you would believe that all your father ever wanted was to look after us as best he could. Now he is bringing you up to follow in his footsteps so that one day you can provide the same life for your own wife and family.’

I forced a smile at the thought, hearing the pride in her voice at the future she pictured for me. I loved my parents, my mother especially, but I wanted someone to be with me because they loved me and couldn’t imagine a life without me, not because they were grateful to me. I didn’t dare admit that to my mother, though, since it would demean everything she felt she had achieved, and I wasn’t there to break her heart.

‘You do understand, Theo, don’t you?’ she asked, frowning when I didn’t answer immediately. She gave me a sympathetic look. ‘I understand your misgivings, of course I do, but your father is depending on you to carry out your work.’

I stared at her unblinking for a moment. ‘I do understand, Mother, but I must admit that I wish things were different and I was following my father into another business.’

‘Theo, your father only holds this position because of his skill in discovering these practising witches who hide among us in plain sight. His is an unforgiving role at the best of times and one that could end at any time, if the King or Parliament changed the laws to prohibit bringing witches to justice. Don’t forget that we only have this home because of his position as the Witchfinder here. If his skills are no longer needed, we shall all be homeless.’

I hadn’t realised the house was tied to the job, probably because I couldn’t recall my parents living anywhere else. ‘I didn’t know that.’

‘It’s unfortunate but true. For your father to keep working as Witchfinder he needs to show there is a need for him to be employed as such.’ She sighed. ‘We both know his arrests have been far fewer than your grandfather’s. He constantly worries that those in authority are comparing his rate of bringing witches to justice with that of his father.’

‘But times are different now,’ I argued. ‘Authorities expect more proof of guilt and are less willing to accept torture when extracting a confession.’

She nodded. ‘That’s true, but there are others who covet his job. It only pays reasonably well, but there’s also the respect that comes with it, and of course the smallholding attached to this house.’ She rested her palm against my cheek. ‘Now do you understand a little better why we need you to do your best for him?’

My heart sank. I hadn’t understood the gravity of my situation. Should my father become unwell or too old for the work, I would need to be ready to step into his place so their home would remain secure. How could I argue with that?

I saw she was waiting for an answer. ‘I won’t question Father again, Mother,’ I said, but I was unable to keep regret out of my voice. I wasn’t sure it was a promise I could keep, but I would try my best.

‘Thank you, Theo. Now, you’ve been away from your work for long enough and we don’t want him returning home and finding you here when you should be elsewhere, do we?’

I stood and kissed her on her soft cheek. ‘No, Mother, we don’t.’

I left, conflicted at the thought that my parents’ happiness and security depended on Rue losing her life. I loved them deeply, but however much I wanted to do the right thing by them, I knew I couldn’t in good conscience take unjustified action against Rue or any other accused person. Clearly the battle I now faced was one within myself.

Chapter Twenty