Page 11 of Love Unlocked

‘No problem, I’m glad you have company.’

‘He’s my brother, Tom. He broke up with his wife and he wants to talk it over and over and over. My head feels like it’s going to explode but I have to be here for him. It’s my dad’s dying wish.’

‘Dad is still very much alive,’ Tom says, from the balcony. ‘And I can hear you.’

Claire rolls her eyes.

‘I hope they didn’t break up on Thursday,’ Melody says lightly.

‘Yes it was on Thursday. Why?’

‘Oh,’ Melody says, surprised. ‘I know of two people who broke up on Thursday.’ Turns out Filip Wozniak broke up with his girlfriend on Thursday too. It seemed very soon to be taking phone numbers but he was on a mission to get over her as fast as possible, while also consistently speaking about her. Apparently his girlfriend’s reasons were that he was grumpy and messy, he’d told Melody angrily, ignoring customers while he leaned across the bar ranting. Melody felt like she was the bartender listening to a customer’s woes. ‘And I cheated just once!’ he said, pointing a finger in the air.

‘That’s an odd coincidence,’ Claire says sarcastically.

‘I thought coincidence was one of your favourite arguments for the defence,’ Melody replies.

‘Ha!’

‘What happened this week? Why is everyone breaking up?’ Melody ponders.

Everyone is an exaggeration but it feels like a lot. Maybe Melody is right. The Doomsday clock is ticking, the world is facing uncertain collapse, people are anxious they just can’t hold it together anymore, relationships are failing. Melody’s not a relationship person so she doesn’t care, but she cares about the others in her life who value such things, whose lives are propped up by the structures of relationships and commitment. From her bedroom she hears Tom’s deep voice vibrating through the wall. She opens her window a crack and lies on her bed enjoying the cold air on her skin, listening to all the minute problems that Tom and his wife Mel had from the moment they met to the moment he left. She was sometimes too cold, not affectionate enough, and he wanted more sex but he understood why, she had a difficult childhood. But all of a sudden he woke up and felt like he needed more.

The complexities and complications of humans.

She drifts to sleep listening to Tom’s voice. It’s soothing, like a bedtime story, even if it’s about pain. The calm flipping from the positives to the negatives of his relationship is like a gentle rocking. It has a confessional quality. Despite the back and forth, the seemingly balancing out of the value of their relationship, it ultimately hadn’t survived. Dig in or let go. Tom had let go and is suffering for it, trying to justify it to himself and his sister, but at the same time trying to honour its authenticity.

Melody had done the same, in the time following her break-up with Sam. Nothing else could have made her feel so sad, so physically ill. The pain in her heart after Sam was so real she made her GP refer her to a cardiologist. The appointment took months to schedule and by the time it came round it was clear she was not dying but the chest pain was a physical manifestation of her emotional suffering. And it was her who had caused it. She hasn’t fallen in love since, or hasn’t allowed herself to; she figures love is something a human must consent to. The thought of love catching her off guard like that gives her a new fear, she must be vigilant.

She’d kept Sam close because she felt she owed him. She didn’t want him in her life romantically but she didn’t want him not in it either. She needed him. A diamond of a man, she’d reinserted herself in his life after the break-up to protect him and everything in his life so it would never be ruined again. It was a guilt-led self-assignment. And achievable unless she is the one to hurt him all over again.

She receives a text from her mother.

Are you awake?

Her mum, Belinda, knows how much Melody hates to be alone at night and regularly texts her at night to make sure she’s okay.

I just want to let you know …

Typing …

Derek and I have separated. He moved out.

Typing …

I’m at peace with it.

Typing …

Love you. Sleep well.

‘What the …’

She sits up and phones.

‘You didn’t have to call, I’m okay,’ Belinda, her mother, says, agitated. ‘I just wanted tell you in case you hear it from someone else.’

‘Well, yes, it’s good for me to know, because it’s important I know.’