Page 39 of Love Unlocked

‘It’s not that I just don’t like it, it’s a phobia. I’m fine with being alone alone, in life, but I just don’t like to be alone at night.’

‘Is it the sounds?’ His expression and voice are soft.

‘So many sounds,’ she agrees. ‘Cracks and pops and you never hear them in the day. Creaks and banging. Breathing, I’m sure I hear breathing, as if someone’s in the room with me.’ She shudders.

‘Are you afraid someone will hurt you?’

‘Hurt me, kill me, abduct me, the world will end. Or a combination.’

‘Being abducted on the night the world ends is just sheer bad luck.’

‘Exactly. I’ve played it all out in my head. Never ends well.’

He nods, understanding. ‘So what arrangements do you make?’

‘My mum comes and stays with me, or I stay with her. But she can’t tonight because she broke up with her husband – who’s not my dad – and she’s packing up his stuff and needs time alone.’ She looks at Al to explain. ‘They had a love lock on the Grace Plunkett Bridge. Or I babysit for Sam’s baby Faith, which I know is probably odd that we’re still friends but …’ she sighs.

‘The crippling guilt.’

‘Yes,’ she says, relieved that he gets it. ‘But I can’t talk to him because I said something on last week’s podcast that upset his wife.’

‘The sell-the-ring thing. I listened to that one too. I had one of your baked potatoes at the Ploughing Festival.’

‘What flavour?’

‘Baked beans and cheese.’

‘Classic.’

‘It made me wonder if my ex will sell her ring and what she’ll do.’

‘You could ask for it back, was it a family heirloom?’

‘Nah. I don’t want it. It was for her. A symbol of us.’

‘That’s why I think you still have the love locks,’ she says gently, studying him again. Someone like him wouldn’t destroy love.

He looks at her, irritated. ‘Asked and answered. So what arrangements have you made for tonight?’

‘None. There’s nobody available to stay with me tonight, or who can take me in, apart from a guy, but nah.’

‘Who’s the guy?’

‘A not serious guy.’

‘Stairs not lift.’

‘Yes!’

‘So you have no plans.’

‘No.’ Her smile fades, and she feels that sick feeling in her stomach again, the fear starting to close in on her.

‘Then let’s keep walking.’

Suddenly he takes her hand. She’s wearing gloves. As is he. But she feels the warmth of him through his glove. He doesn’t say anything, holds her hand as if it’s completely normal.

He keeps walking, casually, not seeming to feel any pressure about filling the silence. She relaxes after a while, settles into holding his hand. His hand is so large it wraps entirely around hers. He doesn’t squeeze too tight, but it’s firm. Such a simple gesture and yet so impactful. She feels like he’s got her. She moves in closer to him.