Page 110 of I Loved You First

He wanted to go to her—to wrap his arms around her waist and snuggle her against him—but he wasn’t exactly sure where things stood despite their hug at her office. “I like your house in the sky, Fi.”

She sent him a small smile as she turned. “Thank you.”

“I’ve missed this. Looking at you. Talking to you,” he confessed without qualms. Because it was time to say what he needed to say. Tiptoeing over his words and staying quiet all summer long had done neither of them any good.

Her smile faded as she dropped her gaze to the floor.

He yearned to walk her way, but he stayed where he was, reading the room easily enough. Fi’s walls were up. “I hurt you when I told you I needed us to take a step back.”

She shrugged, darting him a glance. “I understand the situation, Cam.”

“I panicked when Ally came back. I pushed you away. I didn’t realize I was doing it at the time, but it was the wrong move.”

She jerked her shoulders again. “Everything’s complicated.”

“But that’s the thing. It’s not. At least, not the important stuff. Not the stuff that matters.”

She looked at him now. “Brady’s your priority. As he should be.”

He shook his head as he closed the distance between them, seeing so clearly the vulnerability in her big brown eyes. “He’s one of my priorities. Both of you mean everything to me.” Stroking his knuckles along her jaw, he held her gaze. “You’ve been my everything for such a long time, Fi. I loved you first.”

Tears spilled down her cheeks as she clutched at his wrist.

“From the first moment I talked to you in that humanities class… For the last twelve years… I’ve been so in love with you, Fiona.”

“Cam,” she whispered on a shuddering breath.

He caught her next tear with his thumb. “You have a big life here—a successful career. I’ve struggled with the idea of asking you to change that when I’m the one who fucked everything up between us.”

She shook her head. “You didn’t mess us up all by yourself. We both made mistakes.”

He shrugged. “Maybe that’s true, but that doesn’t change the fact that I should’ve been straight with you from the moment things changed between us this summer. I should’ve told you that I want you to live with me in our house in Vermont. I should have said that I want us to be a family—that I want you to help me raise Brady.”

“What about Ally?”

He shook his head. “I don’t want Ally. I want you. It’s always been you, Fi. It will always be you.”

“But she’s Brady’s mother.”

“And that’s something we’re going to have to work out, but I refuse to let her come between us again. I want a life with you, Fi. A life we create with Brady together. Ally might be his biological mother, but when it comes to the day-to-day, you and I are what’s best for him.”

She nodded before her face crumpled, and she pulled away, turning toward the windows as she started to cry.

Frowning, he turned her back to face him. “What just happened?”

“What about babies?”

He sighed, loathing that this topic hurt her so much, noting how her shoulders hunched slightly and a new wave of vulnerability radiated in her eyes. “There are other ways to make a family. Look at the way you love my son.”

She sucked in a shaky breath. “You say that now, but what if someday down the road…”

He adamantly shook his head. “I’ve been waiting for you for six years. Whether you can or can’t make babies with me isn’t going to be the reason we aren’t going to be together.”

She started to cry again. “I never want to disappoint you. I don’t want to wake up five years from now and realize you resent me.”

His heart hurt as he held her gaze—as he cupped her cheeks in his hands so she had no choice but to believe what he said as they stared into each other’s eyes. “Never, Fiona. Never, ever. I just need you. I need you to love me.”

“I do. You know I do.”