Page 37 of Fit for a King

“And we’re here in this ballroom that we’ve spent all day putting finishing touches on so it’ll be perfect for you and—” He stopped abruptly and looked down again, shaking his head.

“Alejandro,” I said, understanding exactly what was happening. “That’s who you were thinking of just now?”

“Well…no, not by that name, but yes. How can I not? He’ll be here in this beautiful room dancing with you in front of everyone to that waltz, and soon you’ll be married and…” He finally met my eyes again.

“You’re right,” I said. “I understand. I’ve put you in a difficult position, and for that I apologize.”

“Please don’t apologize. You haven’t done anything wrong, it’s just…too complicated.”

He was right. What I wanted, what I was asking for, was impossible. It had been wrong to put him in this position, but walking away from him felt wrong too. Thinking of dancing with Alejandro in this very room was the last thing I wanted, but I couldn’t afford to put my wants over the crown.

It seemed Noah knew that better than I did.

But he was the only one I felt alive around, the only one for whom I could drop the royal façade and just be myself. His position was far more precarious than mine, though, because if anyone found out, it could put a stain on Noah, and he needed this job for his family.

I was being selfish here, pushing for something that couldn’t go anywhere. It wasn’t fair to him or to me.

“I should let you get some rest,” I said thickly, knowing he wouldn’t sleep until he knew I was in my quarters for the night. I started to leave, but then turned and added, “Send Violet to fix my quarters.”

Noah’s brow creased. “But sir⁠—”

“I think it’s for the best if she takes care of it tonight.”

He looked like he wanted to argue that for a moment, but then schooled his face into a neutral expression and nodded. “Yes, Your Majesty. I’ll send her up right away.”

“Thank you…Bennett.” I dropped my eyes to his mouth briefly, wishing I hadn’t been so careful and just kissed him the way I’d wanted to, because now I’d never get a chance.

I tore my gaze from him and turned away, and this time it was my feet having difficulty following orders. But unlike Noah, I would make myself move. I would do the thing I didn’t want to do both tonight and tomorrow because that was what kings did. They sacrificed their own happiness, their own desires, for their country, and were happy to do so. At least, that was what we were taught to believe.

All I had to do was forget this moment and all the moments that came before now.

Tomorrow night I would be meeting my future, and I needed to leave Noah and the glimpse of happiness where it was right now as I walked out of the room. Behind me.

12

NICHOLAS

TONIGHT WAS THE night. It was mere hours before Prince Alejandro de la Vega arrived and the welcome ball began, and I was in turmoil.

I paced the entirety of my quarters, from the sitting room to my bedchambers to the dressing room and back again, unable to keep still.

I should’ve been focusing on details of the man who’d be at my side tonight, ensuring I asked the right questions and remembered important facts about his family, his country. Instead, I couldn’t stop thinking of how I’d left Noah in the ballroom. How we’d danced and he’d picked it up so effortlessly, letting me guide him and holding tight to me. The way he’d felt in my arms, like he belonged there, with me, not serving me. I’d dreamed about his soft little laughs all night, maybe the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard because it felt so private. He wasn’t free to express himself in that way, not when he was attending to me or anywhere outside of staff quarters, and I realized now what a shame that was.

He was so beautiful when he smiled.

Beautiful…but forbidden.

Noah Bennett was not mine, could never be mine, and the fact that I’d even entertained letting things go as far as they had was a mistake I couldn’t make again.

I’d never been this foolish before, and here I was, the king now, thinking tempting thoughts about my footman? My father was rolling in his grave.

“You can do this,” I muttered to myself, stretching my neck from side to side and then shaking out my arms. It felt like there was so much pent-up energy in my body that had no place to go. It was all bottled up inside along with every feeling and thought I’d ever had, stifled to make room for duty. That was my purpose, the reason I’d been put on this earth, and I couldn’t fail now.

“You look like you’re heading to your own execution.”

I looked up at Gabriel, who leaned against the doorjamb, his arms crossed, an amused expression on his face.

“Aren’t I?” I said, tugging at the collar of the shirt that felt too tight all of a sudden.