Page 32 of Duke in Darkness

She burst into tears.

NO. No. No. NO.

The scream echoed in Lilian’s mind as sobs wracked her whole body.

Grandmother had warned her of the dire consequences of taking pleasure during the act. And now she had done the worst thing in the world. Succumbed to her hot blood, and killed…

She couldn’t even complete the thought, it was so dreadful.

“Lilian?” Her husband went up on one elbow and stared down at her with acute alarm. “What is wrong? Was I…was I too rough?”

But she could barely comprehend his words when her mind had frozen in bone-chilling remorse at her terrible sin. “I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I’m so, so, sorry. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I swear…it will never happen again.”

Exton secured his robe tightly around himself, and shifted until he sat beside her on the bed. “Lilian…” he said slowly, one big hand coming to rest on her shoulder in an awkward but sweet gesture of comfort entirely undeserved. “I don’t understand. What do I need to forgive you for?”

“P-please don’t m-make me say it. It’s too awful.”

A frown creased his forehead, somehow making his eyes appear blacker and his scar more fearsome. “I’m afraid I must insist.”

Unable to stop shaking, Lilian sat up. She tugged her chemise down before curling her arms around her knees to ward off the chill enveloping her, but right now, she couldn’t imagine ever being warm again. To add to her misery, Exton’s hand had moved to rest on her back, rubbing in gentle, soothing circles. As though he cared. Something he would never do again, once he learned what she had done.

Lilian dashed a hand across her face in an attempt to stop the flow of tears streaming down her face. “I…I…just killed our baby.”

Her husband’s hand stilled on her back. “What?”

“I didn’t mean to. Please believe that!” she cried.

“Lilian—”

“It was an accident. I t-tried so very hard to stop it. But I couldn’t. Because I am c-cursed with my mother’s terrible hot blood. Oh God…I’m so s-sorry.”

In one firm and decisive movement, Exton grasped her shoulders and forced her to turn and look at him. Shockingly, she couldn’t see rage or disgust on his face, still just that expression of utter bafflement. Why didn’t he understand? She had confessed as plainly as she knew how!

“Lilian. Listen to me. Stop crying.”

“I can’t!”

“Stop crying,” he repeated, as his thumbs made gentle circles on her upper arms. “And tell me exactly…what you think you did.”

She sniffled, trying hard to obey, when all she wanted to do was sob until there were no tears left. “I already told you what I did.”

“Yes,” Exton continued evenly. How could he be so calm? “But I want to know…how you think you did that.”

Shame engulfed her, and she couldn’t even meet his gaze. “I took p-pleasure in the act. It kills a b-baby. Grandmother said so.”

Her husband cursed, and Lilian flinched, steeling herself for his fury. Would he scold for hours? Cane her? Confine her to her room? She had received those punishments countless times in the past, and deserved them all and more.

“Lilian. Look at me.”

“I can’t.”

“Look at me.”

She did so, only because she couldn’t understand why his tone remained so composed. Then he cupped her face and blotted her tears with his thumbs, making her gasp. How could he possibly be kind after what she’d done? “Exton?”

“She is not correct. Lady Kingsford is not correct.”

Lilian blinked at him in incomprehension. “Beg pardon?”