Page 55 of Duke in Darkness

“Yes,” lied Gabriel as he clumsily dismounted onto the block. On the second step his foot seized in a vicious cramp, his stiff legs buckled, and he was only prevented from kissing the cobblestones by Hobbs hooking an arm around his waist. “Don’t say a word.”

“I won’t. Would hate to be dismissed for the three hundred and twenty-second time,” sniffed his valet, as he half-walked, half-dragged Gabriel across the courtyard and through the narrow stone tunnel that led to the townhouse proper.

“Mrs. Taylor is aware…you are a bachelor, still,” he said, wincing in pain as they entered the rear door and the warmth of many lit fires began to return feeling to his rigid muscles.

Hobbs made a harrumphing sound. “Don’t look to arrange my future happiness, Your Grace. Arrange your own.”

Gabriel blinked. “Excuse me?”

“I know your ears still work. The duchess is a good woman. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go to the kitchens and order your bath.”

“Where is she?”

His valet hesitated. “I understand Her Grace received an urgent summons from the dowager Lady Kingsford and won’t be back for a few hours.”

Sympathy and annoyance curled in Gabriel’s chest; no doubt the dowager would have plenty of thoughts on the ball news. But also, a tinge of relief. His body hadn’t been in such a state since their wedding night, and he had no desire for her to see him like this, all frail and wretched. When he saw Lilian next, he would apologize for his actions. Swear it would not happen again. And he needed to do that as a calm, measured, formally-dressed duke.

Not a broken soldier.

CHAPTER 13

O h, how she wished she’d declared herself indisposed.

Lilian barely stopped herself from hurling the tea tray onto the floor of the Kingsford House blue parlor as her grandmother stirred lemon into her cup, the act deliberately and gratingly slow to show her profound displeasure. On top of Gabriel’s abrupt departure from the townhouse this morning, a lecture from the family matriarch would be far too much to take.

It had become clear as soon as she’d arrived that this would be no friendly chat. Grandmother was extremely unhappy, and her long-established method of breaking her grandchildren—first with frigid silence then whatever punishment she deemed appropriate— remained as effective as ever. Even Dawn had abandoned her to take tea with the housekeeper.

“So…” said Lady Kingsford, as she at last set her teacup down. “Let us discuss the events of the week. The unacceptable, shameful, vastly disappointing events.”

Lilian struggled for composure as hot color flooded her cheeks. “It is hardly the worst scandal London has witnessed,” she replied, but frustratingly, her voice quavered.

“Nonsense, gel. Everyone in London knows about the debacle at the Castlereaghs, and is utterly appalled. You were supposed to be the refining influence on the duke and his rough soldier ways, and you have achieved nothing.”

“But—”

Icy hazel eyes fixed on her. “Do not dare to ‘but’ me, Lilian. Smashed glasses and fisticuffs in a ballroom!”

“If you heard the revolting things that Sir Roger said to Exton, you would have been moved to violence, too,” she burst out.

Lady Kingsford’s jaw dropped momentarily, before her expression turned to one of utter contempt. “In no circumstances would I ever resort to such an uncouth display. That you would even say such a thing. To think I had such high hopes for you…perhaps it would have been better if your father had found you a chimney sweep. If you behave like this at Exton House and interrupt His Grace with such outbursts, it is no wonder he beats you. I have no sympathy, a proper wife knows her place.”

Lilian froze, anger and dismay roiling together in her stomach. Oh Lord. Grandmother had been informed about the carriage crying incident before Dawn halted the gossip. Only a fool forgot how fast news spread between servants—and addresses. Chatter at the markets, maids who were related or good friends sharing stories…while most had improved in their duties, there were still some with loose lips. Or malicious intent. But she still had yet to pin down exactly who led the bad behavior. “My husband does not beat me,” she gritted out.

“Lying serves you poorly, Lilian. The servants witnessed your distress. How many times have I told you that ladies, true ladies, show a calm and composed face to the world, and keep their upsets behind closed doors? You behaved in a common, emotional fashion, much like your mother used to do. She was a vulgar countess, and now you are a vulgar duchess who clearly doesn’t have her household, or marriage, in order.”

The words lanced her to the core, and all those simmering doubts and fears bubbled to the surface. For the words were true. Gabriel had turned her world upside down both at the ball and in the bedchamber, then ridden away, so she hadn’t eased his burden like she’d hoped to.

The ledger was still missing, and there obviously remained gossipy servants causing mischief.

The defeats weighed her down like a boulder, and she clasped her hands, barely able to meet her grandmother’s stare. “I…er…”

Lady Kingsford pressed her fingertips to her temples. “It is my fault. I thought I had corrected you sufficiently, but I should have been stricter. That is the burden I shall carry, knowing that I failed as a guardian. Failed the Nash family. Failed in my duty. There is no worse offence for a woman.”

Failure. Failure. Failure.

“No, Grandmother,” Lilian said quickly, swallowing down a sob and shifting on the chair like a little girl again. “You did not fail. It was…just a lapse. The shock of hearing some unexpected news. I can do better. I will do better. I’ll make you proud of me.”

“Oh, I hope so. When I heard about the Castlereagh ball, of your terrible behavior afterward…I was so saddened. Mortified. I dare not show my face in public for at least a week, lest I be accosted with questions. I never thought it would be you who caused me such agony.”