Page 9 of Duke in Darkness

“Meow,” said Xavier, wiggling his eyebrows.

Laughter exploded in the antechamber, and at last some of the tension left Lilian’s shoulders. Even though they sometimes tussled like barn cats, she was glad her sisters and brother were here on the day she left behind Lady Lilian Nash, and became Lilian Jordan-Ives, Duchess of Exton.

“May I inquire,” said an ice-cold voice from the doorway, “why four supposedly wellborn individuals are carrying on like a gaggle of geese?”

The room went silent, and Lilian sighed as her tension returned. Although she didn’t allow herself to think of her mother too much, it had crossed her mind how different their lives might have been if Mama hadn’t passed of that terrible fever. Grandmother had come to stay after the funeral, and lessons to correct their appalling speech and behavior commenced the following day. Even Lilian, who had tried hardest to please the elderly woman, had been ceaselessly reprimanded and punished.

“Apologies, Grandmother,” mumbled Xavier.

Lady Kingsford glided into the room and arranged herself on a chair. “Run along now, you three. I need to speak with Lilian alone.”

Georgiana tilted her head. “Really, Grandmother? You left the bedding talk until now?”

“Shhhh,” hissed Pippa, grabbing her sister’s arm and dragging her and Xavier from the room.

Lilian twisted her fingers together. At long last, she would learn the secrets of the marriage bed? Her grandmother loathed speaking of intimate matters. The first time Lilian had experienced her monthly bleed, it had been a sympathetic maid who had soothed her fright and showed her how to arrange the cloths between her legs with the help of a cord around her waist.

“Yes, Grandmother?” she said, as calmly as she could when her heart was attempting to leap from her chest.

“Your sister is vulgar in speech. The habit should have been beaten out of her in a sterner fashion. But that is by the by. It is true, I am going to give you all the instruction needed as a wife in regard to marital relations.”

“I am r-ready.”

“Good,” said Lady Kingsford briskly, although she looked ill at ease. “You’ll have separate bedchambers, of course. In future, Exton will inform you when he wishes to visit yours. Always admit him, unless you have your courses. The visits might be frequent to start, only natural when the conceiving of heirs is yet to be achieved. But once you have done your duty as a proper wife, he will graciously leave you be and indulge his manly appetites elsewhere.”

Lilian gulped. “Is it so very bad?”

The older woman’s lips pursed. “The first time will be extremely painful as he takes your maidenhead. But if you lie very still and quiet, it will soon be over with.”

“How, exactly, does he, er, take my maidenhead?” blurted Lilian, her cheeks so hot they probably could have boiled water.

“Gracious me. I thought I had cured you of such coarse inquisitiveness. Oh, do not look so woebegone. He will lift your nightgown to your waist, part your thighs and put his male part inside you, stir it about, and release his seed. Then he will bid you goodnight and leave.”

Lilian stared at the wooden floor. Really? That was the great secret that couldn’t be shared with unmarried women because it would corrupt their souls? It hardly seemed feasible that such information would tempt anyone to ruin, not when it all sounded so unpleasant. Perhaps the poets and writers who waxed lyrical about the joys of carnal love hadn’t actually experienced it.

“Does it hurt every time?” she said eventually, daring to raise her gaze to her grandmother’s once again.

Lady Kingsford sighed irritably and shifted in her chair. “After the first coupling, there will be discomfort rather than pain. As I said, if you are still and quiet, it will be over sooner.”

“So it is never, ah…” Lilian swallowed hard, the memory of Exton’s lips burning her hand still fresh in her mind. “Nice?”

“Perhaps. If you are a filthy whore.”

A shocked gasp escaped at the use of such a word, and her heart sank at the frigid fury on her grandmother’s face. Never had she looked so angry. “What?”

“Only whores enjoy the act. That is why courtesans and mistresses have few children. When they revel in depravity and find their own pleasure, it kills any baby being created. You would not want to murder your own son or daughter because you were selfish and immoral, would you?”

“No!” she said quickly, so horrified she rose to her feet and wrapped her arms about herself.

“Then heed my words. Women who lure men away from a righteous path never prosper. Why do you think your mother died? Because of her disgusting hot blood, and her bold, willful, inquisitive nature. Fortunately I saved you children from total corruption, although I still hold grave fears for you all. However, if you behave as a proper wife, a proper duchess, you will soon quicken with child and please His Grace. Do not embarrass yourself by behaving lewdly, asking silly questions, or speaking out of turn. Do you understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good. Then it is time for us to go to the chapel. You look agreeable. That gown is becomingly modest, and your hair is just so. A pity nothing can be done about your lips, from your mother’s side of course. Far too much pout. One wonders if she concealed a touch of foreign blood somewhere along her line, but my foolish son would have no other. Are you ready to be wed? To do right by your family?”

No. It’s too soon. And I fear I may have my mother’s hot blooded nature. What if I can’t suppress it?

“Yes,” Lilian whispered.