Page 34 of I Will Always Love You (Maybe)

“What, crying?”

“Yes, no, I don’t know.” I blow into the mug and take a tentative sip. “Crying. Having you rescue me, yet again. I swear you must think I’m totally helpless.”

“No, I actually don’t.” Colby dunks her tea bag in the mug and sips. “Can we talk about who’s rescuing who here? You saved my ass at the clinic, you saved me out here with Kona…”

This gives me more relief than I probably deserve. I give her a soft smile and focus on the flickering flames. The chill has finally left my body, and my limbs have stopped trembling, but I replay the moment on a loop. “Were you going to shoot the bear?”

Colby shakes her head. “No. I mean, that wasn’t the plan. I should have brought my bear spray, I just kind of panicked in the moment. I was going to do a warning shot and hope it ran away.”

An exhale releases. “Good.” Sure, I didn’t want to be bear food, but technically, the animal was in its home, and I was the intruder. It didn’t deserve to die. “My God, that bear was beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“It really was,” Colby says with a grin. “And big.”

“Holy shit, so freaking big.” The tea is finally cool enough for me to wrap my palms around the mug. I take another sip of the warm cinnamon, and the heat trails down my throat. “How did you know I was in trouble?”

Colby reaches down and pets Kona’s fur. “Actually, Kona started barking like crazy. I don’t even know how she knew, but I swear she’s the most intuitive dog on the planet. So, I checked the security camera, and well, there it was.”

“Has that ever happened to you before?”

Colby shakes her head. “I mean, I’ve seen them on the camera feed, only maybe once or twice over the years. It’s pretty rare. I’m sure it was terrifying for you. It was for me, and I was just a bystander. But my God, kind of incredible, right? Such majestic creatures.”

I nod and look back at the fire. Yes, it really was. But you know what else is incredible? This. Sitting here, with this beautiful woman, my heart open, my body alive. Colby presses her pretty mouth onto the mug again as she stares into the fireplace. The flame flickers in her eyes, highlighting that beautiful amber, and Christ, I want to kiss her so bad. Yes, rescue syndrome a little bit, sure. But for so many more reasons than that. It doesn’t feel like a pattern that I’m falling into this time. It’s because she’s a good person. It’s because she thinks of others first, and not herself, and I’m going to say it… it’s also because she’s hot as hell. Seriously. I shift in my seat and push away all of the heat that’s seeping into my bones and settling on my center.

After the tea is finished, Colby rises and grabs the mugs. “Do you need anything?”

Is there seriously a more selfless person in existence?

“You know…” I say, lifting my brow, trying to push away the tingles that are threatening to totally invade me. “I’d really love to try out the hot tub now.”

A long moment passes. So long that I am not sure if I said something wrong. I glance at Colby and study her face. And absolutely cannot decode the look she gives me back.

TWENTY-ONE

COLBY

When I first moved into this place, I bought the hot tub almost immediately. It’s a luxury that I love and still don’t take for granted. Growing up in Florida, we had a pool, but not a hot tub. Except for the really hot summer days, several times a week, I slide into it until my skin shrivels. But I’ve never once sat in the hot tub with someone else. And the idea of being in the tub with Josie is moving so many things in me that I’m frozen in place.

I lean my head toward Josie, who’s tugged off the blanket from her shoulders and tossed it on the couch. “Sorry, what?” I ask.

“Do you have an extra suit?”

“Um no.” I twist my mouth. “I, um, well, I live alone and my closest neighbors are these pine trees. I’ll just get it set up for you, and then you can hop in with privacy.”

“Don’t you want to go in, too?” she asks with what I think is actual innocence in her voice, but she’s kidding right? Maybe she didn’t catch the intention with the words about privacy and not needing a suit. “You were outside without a coat.”

“I mean… yeah, but, you know…” Right now, I’d love nothing more than to sit in the tub with Josie. But I’m not completely naive, and honestly, I’m not sure I can trust myself. Every second I’m with her, it’s getting harder and harder to push away this deep attraction, this fierce magnetic pull I’m feeling. And today, when I thought she was in danger, seeing the bear, thinking of how she was out there, all alone, scared… I still can’t shake it. So yeah, being naked in a hot tub with Josie is not a good idea. “The whole no-swimsuit thing…”

Josie cocks her head. “Seriously? We’re adults. And, well, I hate to point out the obvious that we’re both so clearly avoiding, but we’ve already seen each other naked. It’ll be fine. Doesn’t it have bubbles and stuff?”

I mean, she has a point. A really good one. I’ve been to women-only spas before, gyms, I played sports where we had to shower after. I’ve seen a ton of women naked in a setting like that. But as much as I’m trying to fight this, I want to see Josie naked again. And that is a problem.

“Oh yeah, um, good point.” I say, my voice unnaturally high. Why am I nervous? I shouldn’t be nervous. God dammit, now I’m nervous.

“No pressure, for real,” Josie says, following me into the kitchen. “If you don’t want to do this, we can totally take turns. That’s not a problem.”

“Nope, I’ve already made this twenty times weirder than it needed to be.” My face is hot. And my chest. And other parts, which I am totally ignoring. “I may not have swimsuits, but I do have two robes. Be right back.”

I dash away before I do or say anything even more awkward. Twenty minutes later, we’re both bundled up in a robe—Josie in the winter one, me in the summer one, and I’m really, really trying not to let my teeth clatter as we heave off the top. Well, as I heave off the top as Josie’s arms are still practically useless from chopping wood yesterday.