Page 19 of My Girlfriend is Not the Father

Jade cleared her throat and took so long to respond that Lucy rolled her lip into her mouth and almost apologised.

‘Not anymore.’ Jade ran her finger through her lavender hair and focused on the ground. ‘You?’

Lucy shook her head. ‘Not ever.’

Jade didn’t ask any follow-up questions, thank God. Because really, how do you go about explaining that fun little morsel to an outsider who probably couldn’t understand the innerworkings of Lucy’s … unique … brain. Lucy motioned to a black iron park bench overlooking the water. With the sun hitting the soft ripples, the water seemed to dance with sparkles. A silence spread between them for a while. Not uncomfortable or awkward, more like they were mutually drawn into the river’s hypotonic pattern. But then, the conversation fired back up, and they spent the next hour talking about favourite movies, the best local restaurants that Jade hadn’t tried yet, and a dozen other lighter topics. And definitely – quite obviously in Lucy’s humble opinion – no other conversation about past relationships, or lack thereof.

‘I should probably get back home and take care of my Sunday work,’ Jade said after a pause in the conversation.

Lucy rose, more reluctantly than she should. The past several hours were some of the best she’d spent in a long time, and she wasn’t ready for them to end. Then again, Sunday was visit day with her dad, and if she arrived too late to help him with chores, he’d retaliate and cook her Sunday-night steak well-done.

When they reached the parking lot, Lucy stopped outside of her truck.

Jade’s eyes scanned the vehicle. ‘This is yours?’

‘Betty Yellow.’ Lucy patted the tailgate. ‘My longest relationship. I’ve had this baby since I was eighteen. My pops gave it to me, and I just can’t let it go.’

‘Your bumper sticker! I’m dying.’

Lucy cracked a grin at the familiar sticker. Yes, I have a truck. No, I won’t help you move. ‘I had to get it. Everyone thought it was so impractical driving this beast around until they needed to borrow it to move furniture.’

Jade skipped her fingers across the lettering on the tailgate. ‘Well, I love it. Ms Betty Yellow. I think it’s pretty perfect.’

‘You do?’ Why did this make her feel so warm? Of course, Lucy loved Betty Yellow – this baby got her through the roughest of snowstorms and could carry Chucky, fishing gear, and supplies when needed. But Jade’s approval felt validating somehow. It struck something in Lucy, deeper than expected, but she’d process why later.

‘I really do. Reminds me of, like the good old days, I guess. Nostalgic. Like an old TV show you loved as a kid.’ Jade peeked at her watch and frowned. ‘Thanks for the fun morning. Really, it was amazing to get out of the house.’

‘Definitely.’ Lucy shifted her weight between her feet. So, was this it? Should she ask Jade for her number? Or was messaging on the social platforms good enough for now? For the first time in a gazillion years, she didn’t feel like bolting after a non-date.

Whatever. She needed to admit this. This felt date-ish.

And now … she wanted to bolt.

A date was too real, too much, too intense. She’d been on dates before, but this tugging in her stomach, this heart-skipping, this longing sensation to hear more about Jade, to brush her fingertips against her hand to see how soft the skin was, to not let her just walk away – it felt new. And scary. And, truthfully, it didn’t make sense. Lucy had so much going on in her life. Right now was the absolute worst time in the history of all time to embark on anything.

Jade pulled her hands out of her pocket. ‘Can I give you a hug?’

Her voice was softer than Lucy had heard all day, and Lucy soaked up the vulnerability in the tone. ‘I’d love one.’ She stretched on her tiptoes and held her arms open, and oh boy. This woman could hug. Her slim arms were much stronger than Lucy expected. Citrus and sage hovered on Jade’s skin, and the combo was downright yummy. Lucy pressed into her and inhaled one more time before she forced herself to break from the warm grip and opened the truck door.

Oh God, now what? Lucy really didn’t want this moment to end, but also, one million per cent needed it to end. She stared at her purse and chewed the inside of her lip. ‘I, uh …’

Jade stood there. Waiting. Maybe expectant, maybe curious, but her smile twitched into a grin. ‘Yes?’

So much heat. In her cheeks. In her chest. Travelling down in a zip to her belly and settling there, uncomfortably. Breathe, breathe. ‘Do you want to exchange phone numbers? I mean, we can totally keep chatting on the app, if you want to keep chatting that is, but you know … you never know when you’ll have a sriracha emergency … and what if there’s a time that you stop at a store and see like a lemon, eucalyptus, and lavender cleaner, but there’s only like one bottle left, and I’m not sure if I’ll see the message … or …’

The hint of a smile on Jade’s face turned into a full, prominent, glowing one if Lucy said so herself, and a moment later, they swapped their phones and typed in their contact info. Finally, Lucy snapped her seatbelt and fired up Betty Yellow. ‘Take care. I guess we’ll chat soon?’

Jade stepped back and held a hand up in a quiet wave. ‘Yes, we will.’

As she pulled out into traffic, Lucy’s shoulders slumped. She didn’t want to leave as much as she didn’t want to stay. The pregnancy countdown clock ticked away, and the very last thing Lucy should – or even could do – was get involved with anyone.

But Jade was freaking awesome. Sweet, kind, smart as hell. Owned her own business, for God’s sake! She probably had her shit completely together, whereas lately Lucy felt like a duck frantically paddling in a stream. She hoped Jade had at least bought her façade of being ultra-chill.

And that soft mouth, though. Damn. The beautiful shape, that glistening, full bottom lip. She wanted to pull that lip into her mouth and … stop. No. She wasn’t doing this. She wasn’t going to entertain anything. All of these thoughts were completely useless because she couldn’t get involved with anyone. Legally, she’d already signed that she was, in fact, single, and she’d stay celibate until after implantation. How would that be to kick off a new relationship? ‘Hey, there, you mind if we swing by the lawyer’s office to update my statement, then make a quick pit stop at the doctor’s to make sure you don’t have any STIs? Cool, thanks.’

Ugh. Although the statement of singlehood had more to do with marriage than defining a dating relationship, but still. Awkward.

After she picked up Chucky to take to her dad’s farm for the day, Lucy’s belly slowly unravelled from its knotted state during the scenic drive. After contemplating all the scenarios, by the time she reached the farm, she knew exactly what she needed to do when it came to Jade.