Page 47 of My Girlfriend is Not the Father

‘Pregnant!’ Drew screamed, throwing himself into Mason’s arms before pulling Lucy in. Everything blurred as they stumbled back into the hall, as sighs of relief and squeals filled the air. ‘Oh my God, we did it! Do you feel different?’

‘From thirty seconds ago?’ Lucy hugged them, expensive cologne, mint, and sweat mixing in her nose. ‘Nope. Still feeling like the same sexy beast as always.’ She was pretty sure that she’d kept her tone jovial, but she sure wasn’t feeling jovial underneath the façade. Thankfully, the men didn’t seem to notice.

For the past two years, she’d thought about this moment so many times. What she’d feel like, if her heart would explode. If her ears would ring. If she’d scream and jump on the counter, or lie down immediately, put her feet up, and swear off anything non-organic. She’d thought her mind would swirl like a burst of confetti in the wind, or that she’d cry from happiness as the joy poured from her. But never once had she predicted the emotional state she now found herself in.

She wanted to cry. And not the good kind of cry either. Not the ‘we’ve worked so hard and finally made our dream come true’ cry. Nope, this one was the straight-up ‘sad for myself, want to wallow in a bathtub’ cry.

She should be feeling happy, right? Elated, excited, or any other possible positive emotion. Or heck – she’d even take nerves, terror, something. She watched the men hug. Drew wiped tears, Mason whispered in his ear, and they kissed. They didn’t mean to make her feel isolated, of course. But watching them be so adorable and snuggly together, her stomach sank.

Drew reached out an arm for Lucy, once again gathering her in, and squeezed. ‘I can’t believe this is real. It’s real, Luce! Everything. We did it.’ He pulled back and clapped his hands together. He looked so happy. So earnest. ‘I love you. You know that?’

Lucy smiled. She wanted to wrap herself back in his embrace, have him tell her everything was okay, they got this, and what she was experiencing was totally normal. ‘I love you, too.’

Mason rubbed his palms together, his throat bobbing. He was always the pragmatic one in the relationship. The man had Hilary Clinton-like nerves of steel, never showing real ups or downs. But the light reflected a mist in his dark eyes Lucy had never seen before. Uh-oh. Lucy wasn’t sure if she could handle Mason’s emotions when she could barely handle her own.

‘Lucy,’ he said, his voice cracking, ‘I … there’s so much … I, we, can never repay—’

‘Oof. I have to use the bathroom. Sorry. You think ’cause I just peed on a stick I’d be fresh out, but here it is, gurgling around the ’ole belly.’ She shooed them away before they could question what in the hell she was even saying.

The bathroom door clicked shut. She rested back against the wall and blew upwards as she fanned her face. What if they had misread the stick? Were they absolutely sure a ‘not’ wasn’t floating above the word ‘pregnant’? The men would be devastated. They had read it correctly, right? She quickly unwrapped another stick to test again, just to make sure.

While waiting for the secondary test, she squinted at the word, focusing on the plus sign with ‘pregnant’ right underneath.

Three solid moments passed. Dizziness kicked in, a fog in her vision out of nowhere. She planted her palms on the counter to catch herself.

Holy shit. I’m pregnant.

She flumped on the toilet seat and dropped her head into her hand. I’m pregnant. Deep breath in and out. In and out. Every potential missing emotion from the last ten minutes slammed into her at once, like a boxing speed bag. Happy, scared, sad, elated, terrified.

Terrified rose to the surface.

Had her mom ever felt this way? She bit back tears and tried to picture her mother’s reaction when she found out she was pregnant. She hadn’t had this many questions about her mom in forever and was hungry for intel. Was she scared? Happy? Sad? Was her dad in the room with her? Did her parents try for her or was she a surprise?

Heat filled her face and chest. She splashed cool water on her cheeks and breathed through her nose. Tugging up her shirt, she ran a palm down her stomach. She angled to the side, then the other side, then back again, inspecting for any sign of pregnancy. She poked her index finger into her fleshy belly, but nothing. A touch on the curvy side – it would probably take a while before she saw anything.

But seeing something or not, surely her body should feel different, right? Sore boobs. A rounder stomach. Unruly hair sprouting from somewhere. Anything? Granted with all the fancy math with pregnancy, she’d only be considered six weeks at this point, but still … shouldn’t something signal that this was reality?

I’m pregnant. Yes, they’d been prepping for almost a year. And been talking about it for two thousand years prior. She thought she knew what she would feel like at this moment, but until it happened, obviously she didn’t.

A knock sounded on the door. ‘Luce? You good in there?’ Drew asked.

‘Yep, good! Just one more sec.’ Her brain was murky and fuzzy, and she needed the men to leave so she could process what the hell this wet throat, short breath situation was all about. She’d never describe herself as stoic, but she hadn’t cried since she was a kid. And now, all she wanted to do was sob.

She loved Drew. She loved Mason. But she didn’t want to do this alone.

She needed more.

This moment was huge, and yes, she had the guys, but she needed to share it with her person. With someone more than her dad, who’d only give one or two supportive comments. Someone other than the superficial relationships at work, or cousins who were busy juggling careers and families. She couldn’t have her mom. The pit grew, deep, swallowing her whole.

She wanted Jade. No, wait. She needed Jade.

Once the secondary test showed the positive lines, she flung open the door and faced an elated Drew, whose face dropped. ‘Oh God. Are you having second thoughts?’ He held her shoulders and Superman-laser-gazed into her eyes.

She struggled to maintain eye contact. And she hated herself for putting the slightest doubt into his mind. She refused to ruin this moment for him by having a rare heart-to-heart and revealing all the sad feelings she wasn’t supposed to be having.

‘No, stop it.’ She swatted at his hand. ‘I’m totally fine. It’s just all super emotional right now. I’m sure it’s all the hormones and shots and … well … this.’ She waved her hand over her stomach.

‘Same.’ His chest lifted and he eased out a breath. ‘I can’t believe we did it.’