Page 64 of My Girlfriend is Not the Father

Drew winced. ‘Does she have a cat?’

‘No, but I thought the joke would land better if she did.’ She snorted. ‘Did it land?’

‘It landed like a toddler flying a Boeing 747.’ He dug a napkin out of the bag. ‘So, Mason and I talked, and we should probably see if we have to revise any legal paperwork.’

‘Revise?’ Lucy pushed the food to the side of her mouth so she could talk around it. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean, you signed a million documents saying you were single, and that if something horrible happens, your dad is the one to make any medical decisions on your behalf.’

‘Ah.’ She pulled a dangling piece of sauerkraut from the sandwich and tossed it in the paper bag. ‘I mean, the medical decisions should still be up to my dad. But, yeah … paperwork.’

It hadn’t occurred to her until now that she should revisit the paperwork. Lucy loved being in a relationship with Jade. As her first real, true partner, she wasn’t sure what to expect. But so far, things were easy, simple, and mostly fun. Having never connected with anyone like this, Lucy was navigating fresh waters and learning as she went.

Sometimes, though, Lucy felt like she did so much talking that Jade knew her better than she knew Jade. Their conversations were a delicate balance between Lucy asking questions, and respecting Jade’s quieter nature by not prying.

‘You’re not single anymore.’

‘Thank you for that update, Captain Obvious.’ She saluted him. ‘What constitutes being together enough where you have to file paperwork?’

Drew shrugged. ‘I think that’s something you have to define with Jade. Maybe talk to her and see what she thinks?’

A groan was on the tip of Lucy’s tongue, but she refrained. Was talking to Jade about paperwork a good idea? Nothing like putting an extra stress on a new relationship by bringing up super unsexy paperwork.

Drew’s eyes folded in concern. ‘What’s the matter?’

Lucy finished the last bite of sandwich and wiped her hands. ‘We haven’t said I love you yet.’ Was that weird? They’d been together for a little over four months. She’d met Jade in late summer, and now they were headed towards spring. They’d talked about future-ish plans, like splurging and going to Italy in the fall. But things like moving in together, or buying a house, or saying I love you, were totally out of the picture.

Drew narrowed his eyes. ‘For real? Like U-Hauling is straight up part of the lesbian culture.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘Not all lesbians U-Haul, jerk. Stereotype much? I think, well, we’re taking it slow.’

‘Why haven’t you said it?’ Drew sat back and crossed his arms as several long pauses followed. ‘You do love her, right?’

I think so? Wait, no, yes, she did. She was sure. Okay, almost sure.

Drew would never understand. He was the kindest, most gracious human, who told everyone he was close with how much he loved them. He ended phone calls to his family with ‘I love you. Bye’. He told Mason he loved him after like two minutes and was sincere.

Whereas Lucy? She’d never been in love before. This connection, this need to be physically near someone beyond just the sex part, was foreign. She never missed hugs and kisses from partners when they left, or counted the minutes until they could snuggle and laugh together again. She always wished exes well, of course, and hoped they were happy. But she always felt separate from them, like Lucy could never match their happiness. But with Jade, it was different. When Jade was happy, Lucy felt those same flushed feelings. When she was sad, Lucy wanted to cry.

Of course, she also liked her routine and her space. And if she really loved Jade, wouldn’t that mean that she’d want Jade with her every single moment?

Maybe she didn’t know what love was.

What she knew was, when Jade was at her own home, Lucy went to bed thinking of her. When she woke up, she missed Jade’s warm body.

Lucy did worry about how much of her clingier feelings were because of the pregnancy. If she didn’t have all these extra hormones making her squirrely and emotional, would she still want Jade just as badly? Pregnancy brain was a real thing, and what if everything changed after this journey was over? Ninety per cent of their conversations surrounded pregnancy, birth, stretches, body aches, or laugh/crying when Lucy’s inability to see her own nether-regions for a safe shave forced her to resort to waxing, which she determined was only one step down in pain from childbirth itself.

Drew jiggled the ice in his cup. ‘How often do you guys sleep overnight with each other?’

‘Lately it’s been more. But before that, maybe one or two nights a week?’

‘Are you serious? That’s it? Mason and I were living together by this point.’ He exhaled through his nose. ‘I’m sure I’m being paranoid. I just don’t want anything to get messed up, or if the courts got involved or something …’

Drew was being paranoid. Most likely. Tapping into the logical side of her brain, Lucy knew Jade wouldn’t try to interfere with medical decisions or kidnap a newborn.

‘It’s a ton of pressure on a new relationship,’ Lucy said quietly.

‘It’s not that new.’