Page 92 of Forced Proximity

Did he just say that? I’m dreaming. I can’t blink because reality will hit. ‘You … are?’ My voice cracks. I’ve dreamed about this moment, wondered what it’d feel like to hear him say it, curious how my body would react. My limbs tingle, my chest is both heavy and light, a confusing sensation that’s also amazing. Never once did I think I’d be this … euphoric.

He trails his thumb across my cheek, sending a swoosh up my spine, and I lean into his touch.

‘I really am,’ he says.

I can’t believe this is happening. I want to clap, or pinch my hand or do something physical to confirm I’m not dreaming. But the intensity of his touch is all the reality I need. He. Loves. Me.

Now is most definitely not the time to talk any more about this. Even though I want to. All I want to do is collapse into his arms and start living out some magical fairy tale.

What now? I’m still on the clock. Still his employee. Still hired to protect. But for this second, I don’t care. I wrap my fingers on top of his. This changes everything. But for right now, we have to pretend it changes nothing.

I drop my hand but immediately want to put it back. ‘We, um, God, this sucks.’ I grin at his cocked head. ‘No, I mean, this is amazing. But … we have to talk about this later. Right now, I work for you, and we’re in an active investigation.’ I press my palm on his forearm, feeling the warmth from his skin seep into mine.

‘I know,’ he says softly, dipping his head. ‘It’s okay. I’ll wait as long as it takes.’

This is what I needed to hear. My insides release. I pull him in for another hug, not even caring how filthy I am from the fight, and ignore my throbbing cheek and arm. ‘I promise when things are settled, we’ll keep talking. Okay?’

‘Okay.’ His jaw works in a circle as his eyes scan my face and arms. ‘I know you say this is your job. But how many times have you fought like this?’

Stop looking at me like this. It’s killing me. ‘You hope it will never happen, right? The goal is to prevent or deescalate, always.’ I sit at the bar chair, pluck a grape from the vine and pop it in my mouth. ‘There’ve been more than I hoped but less than you think.’

His throat rolls with a heavy swallow as his eyes scan my face and arms. ‘How are you not more freaked out? I don’t understand how you’re maintaining your cool.’

Is he scared? Maybe this is the bump he needed to worry about his safety. But I hear the tone in his voice. He’s not worried for himself. He’s worried for me.

‘I think we train so much that when it actually happens, it’s like muscle memory.’ I press the ice pack back on my upper cheek. ‘It’ll hit me in a little bit – the letdown of adrenaline. I’ll probably need to go for a jog or jump rope for a while to regulate my nervous system. Maybe we’ll finally have a one-on-one rematch.’ I chuckle.

He doesn’t even smile. Instead, he pushes his fingers into his temple. ‘The thought of you hurt … I can’t lose you.’

Any more sweet words with the velvety tone like that and I cannot be held responsible for my actions. I return the ice pack to my lip and force myself to not smile.

This is almost over. A few more days and I can start the rest of my life.

Chapter 42

Lexi

When Jack steps into Justin’s house for his midnight shift, his gaze scans my face. His jaw muscle stiffens, and his usual military stoic stance breaks. Sure, I’m disheveled and dirty but this is the most emotion I’ve seen from this guy in a decade.

‘You’re gonna have a hell of a shiner tomorrow.’

‘Yeah, I know. It’ll make me look tough.’ I crack a smile and cringe from the sting.

‘How’s Justin doing?’

‘A little shaken up, obviously. He’s in the office on a conference call with Anthony, Erica and Zane.’ I escort Jack to the den and whip open my laptop. ‘I need at least another hour to document everything. Did the police send Marcus the perp’s booking info yet?’

Jack shakes his head.

Halfway through writing the notes, I pause. ‘Jack.’ I rub the back of my neck. ‘I met the perp at the studio. We were in the lobby a while back at hand-off, and we talked. Ran into him, again, in the hall, and I fucking missed it. He wasn’t even on my radar.’

His stone face softens. ‘You’re not doing this, Doc. I mean it. We’ve met hundreds of people since taking this job. Hell, I could’ve been next to him at the urinal and missed it. We’ll know more soon. Until then, knock this “blame yourself” bullshit off. Understood?’

‘Understood.’ I clear my throat and look back at the screen. ‘Thank you.’

An hour later, after I retrieve a fresh ice pack and another snack, Jack steps into the room and motions for me to follow. ‘There’s an update,’ he says.

I rush to huddle next to him as we log into the video conference call.