Page 97 of Forced Proximity

‘Oh my God … Lexi …’ His breaths stop, his hands stop, his eyes absorb. ‘You’re so beautiful.’

I look at him, really look at him, make sure I’m not dreaming, make sure he won’t disappear. Every touch is both surreal and real, and I want so badly to commit every detail to memory, but my mind is hazy, euphoric, heated. Tingles and fears and goosebumps shoot through me. I feel so … safe.

And so very greedy. I grab him and spin, pushing him against the wall, knocking over the side table with a vibrating thud. The keys clang to the ground, but I don’t care. I need more. I need all of him. His bare chest presses against mine, my naked body against his skin and jean-covered legs, and God, I need to feel all of him. Right the hell now.

I slide my fingers down his stomach, stop at his belt and begin unlatching. I’ve wanted to do this since the night we danced. ‘Is it okay—’

‘Yes.’ He cuts off my words with a hard kiss and soft moan. ‘Everything is okay. So good.’ My fingers tear at his jeans, fumbling, uncoordinated, needing to unbutton. He kicks off his shoes, his lips meet mine, his breaths become my breaths. The room spins. Hurry up! Urgency ravages my body, everything buzzes with an electric heat. His fingers move to help me, the sound of the metal teeth from the zipper steals my air and I quiver.

‘Justin … hurry …’ I shimmy down his jeans and boxers past his hips, my mouth watering as he kicks them all the way off. My hands beg to touch him, to feel him, after all these months, and … oh … he’s so hard, so ready.

I need more hands, more lips, more tongues, to absorb his body to a greater extent, to suffocate under his sea salt, citrus scent. We stumble backward, naked and misted skin, him taking the lead, protecting me from falling, holding me with his powerful arms. I give up all control, let him lead me through the open door to my bedroom, and hand over all my worries.

Everything burns. A fever I can’t control. My skin tingles, surges with energy and I need him in me. Now. We topple onto the bed all mouths, and lips, and fevered skin, and the second we hit, it all slows.

Justin takes his time. He indulges.

His mouth sweeps my collarbone, the crook in my neck, my earlobe. His hands move, cupping my breasts, his thumbs and fingers sliding and pinching.

‘Ah …’ I moan and guide his head to my chest. His tongue meets my nipple, licking and sucking and my fingers grip into his neck. ‘More.’

Mouths, hands, heavy breaths move, and I lift my hips to meet him, his naked, perfect, angled body pushing into mine. I need him now. I’m so ready. I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.

He pulls back his chest. ‘You’re so perfect, Lexi. I’ve dreamed so much of this moment. I fucking love you. God, I love you so much.’ His eyes lock on mine, and we pause, unspeaking, and just breathe.

‘I love you, too.’ The dam opens and everything rushes out. It feels so good to finally say this, to breathe it, to mean it with my mind, with my body. ‘I’ve wanted to tell you, and I couldn’t and it killed me. Pretending I didn’t, faking it, lying … I wanted to scream it to everyone, but …’ I have so much to say to him, so much to explain. But I have a lifetime to tell him everything.

‘I know why you did it.’ He brushes my hair back from my face, saying nothing but everything with his eyes as he gives me a look … oh that look … and I crumble beneath him. ‘And it makes me love you even more.’

The need to be with him is staggering, but it’s more than filling my body. I’m ready to feel complete.

His tongue glides over my body, his expert fingers pulling and pushing in the most exquisite choreography, making my breath hitch and my legs shake. He’s everything I’ve wanted. For so many years, I thought this connection would never happen again. With every kiss, flicker of his tongue, fingertip, my body burns and trembles with such a heated desire that I’m going to crash. I’m ready to be free.

‘Do you want to …’ He sighs into my ear among my whimpers.

‘Yes. Please. Now.’ I slap on my nightstand, drag open the drawer for a condom, not removing my mouth from his skin for a second. I prop up on my elbow, my body salivating in anticipation, taking in the hot as hell sight of him ripping open the package with his teeth, and applying it.

After sliding in for one more kiss, he lowers himself on me. Gentle, but firm. In control, but respectful. When he guides himself to my center, hovering, my body begs for release. ‘I’m so ready. Please, Justin. Now.’ My body, my voice, my limbs ache with warmth and need.

He eases himself to me, slowly, pushing into me as my breath locks and I adjust to his size. His lips pepper me with kisses on my forehead, my mouth, my breasts. My body relaxes and takes him a little more, and a little more. I’m so ready for him. I need to connect. I clench my thighs around his torso and arch my back. When he finally pushes into me, all the way, I quiver. ‘Yes, more,’ and he does. Thrusts and kisses, his hands, his mouth, his body, fills me. Moans and sweat and trailing tongues and oh my God … he rocks against me, and my body builds and tightens. He pushes more, taking his time, but I’m already so close to release, to show him this part of me, to have him take care of me. ‘Keep going. I’m so close, don’t stop, okay?’

‘It’s so good, you’re so beautiful …’ he whispers over and over.

Keep going, please keep going. I don’t know if I say it out loud or in my head, but my body is tensing, my limbs freeing, a glaze of sweat spreads on my skin, and my fingernails dig into his back, and right there … right there … my body clenches and releases. Waves thunder through me, as I hold him tight, pull him into me as deep as I can, as much as I can, kissing his mouth, his neck, his shoulder. When I finally release, my breaths are so heavy I feel like I might pass out. A few moments later, he collapses against me, his head resting against my shoulder. When he rolls off me, I rest my head on his chest and he strokes my hair.

Minutes pass. In an afterglow of haze, I’m not actually sure how many minutes, but soon he kisses the top of my head, and whispers, ‘Let me know when you’re ready for round two.’

Chapter 45

Justin

‘What are you thinking about?’ I ask, skimming my fingertips across Lexi’s naked back. She’s on her stomach, her hands wrapped under the pillow, her eyes in a haze, as sunlight drapes through the blinds and illuminates her dewy skin. I’m weightless as I breathe her in, drag a piece of her hair out of the way, and kiss right below her ear.

‘How happy I am,’ she whispers.

Me, too.

Three weeks have passed since the night I showed up at her apartment. And she’s slept at my house every night since then. Of course, only after calling Marcus the next morning, giving him a PG-13 rated run down of events, and officially quitting as my security detail. We seamlessly transitioned into a routine, which took us both by surprise. Granted, we’d spent the last several months together, more than most live-in couples. But this feels different. There are no firearms strapped to her body, no internal struggles thinking I’m misreading signs. I love seeing her in this light. Relaxed, smiling, wearing pajamas and slippers, washing her face and brushing her teeth in my bathroom.