Page 103 of Insidious

“You think so? He has been a little pathetic lately,” I admit.

“There you go. That’s what blue balls look like.”

I smile despite myself.

Sandra says casually, “Why don’t you plan a date?”

“A date?”

“Yes. Just the two of you. Get someone to watch Amelie and go out together.”

I hesitate immediately because separating myself from my girl is hard.

Sandra hears what I don’t say.

“He would probably feel good knowing you’re making that effort, too,” she says gently. “Not because you owe him sex. You absolutely do not. But because intimacy isn’t only physical. Think of it as foreplay that may or may not end in sex.”

I think about it. Then another thought surfaces.

“Manon’s been reaching out,” I admit.

Sandra hums thoughtfully. “How’s that been?”

“Odd.”

“Mm.”

“Their family dynamic is just …” I search for the right word. “Different from mine. They hold so much back. Isaac’s been taking Amelie over there sometimes,” I continue. “His mum barely talks now. He told me when I asked. She just holds Amelie.”

Sandra laughs softly.

“And how do you feel about building a relationship with Manon?”

I think about it seriously.

“I never thought I could after the way things went down. I felt like she was all about Chloe. But she lost a daughter. I can’t imagine losing Amelie like that. I don’t think parents are meant to outlive their children and remain 100 percent sane,” I eventually say. “So, I think I would like to meet her halfway. I always wanted us to be family. Not just for Isaac’s sake.”

“I have a suggestion,” Sandra says carefully. “And you can absolutely ignore me.”

“That usually means I won’t like it.”

“You might not.”

I wait.

“But if you feel you can trust her with Amelie,” Sandra continues, “why not ask her to babysit? That is only if you trust that it is safe to leave Amelie with her.”

The idea feels strangely huge.

“Despite everything, I think she loves Amelie,” Sandra says softly. “And it might be a first step.”

Towards trust.

I look down at Amelie sleeping against me, then towards Isaac’s office, where I can faintly hear him talking to someone on a work call.

“Yeah,” I say slowly. “I think … I think I’d like to try that.” A small breath leaves me. “For Isaac’s sake too.”

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