Page 11 of Insidious

“Colin.”

I watch as his jaw clenches.

“Leave it.”

The words come out sharp enough to cut. He wants me to ignore what I have seen and back off like an ostrich with its head in the sand. But ostriches don’t really do that, do they?

I reach for his sleeve.

“Colin—”

“Leave it,” my friend who has never raised his voice to me snaps as he pulls away.

But I grab the front of his shirt and pull.

“Colin.”

“Luna—”

“Colin.”

He tries to turn away, but I don’t let him.

“Just drop it.” His voice wobbles with desperation.

I don’t. I grab him and pull him around, past his resistance.

Then I hug him hard as I try to hold my tears in.

Colin’s arms stay stiff at his sides.

For a moment, he doesn’t move. So, I take his wrists and pull them around me. I have done this to Tony when he got bullied in school. I have hugged Lily the same way when her boyfriend cheated on her.

“Just for a minute. Just hold me for a fucking minute,” I whisper desperately.

Whatever was holding him together seems to let go as he collapses against me like someone has let the air out of him.

His face presses into my neck, and I feel the shudder that runs through him.

And then he starts crying—deep, shaking sobs.

“Luna … I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I whisper. “It’s okay. There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

My hand keeps moving over his back.

Up and down.

Up and down.

Only after a while do I realise my eyes are not dry either.

It is an awkward hug with our height difference but we make do. Eventually, he pulls away, wiping his face with the back of his sleeve, embarrassed at his loss of control.

But I don’t let go of his arms.

I look straight at him.