Page 100 of When Ashes Fall

“I entered shortly before Knox and recognized him when they brought him in. I’d never spoken with the alpha’s youngest son, but everyone knew who he was. He was still screaming as he fought the monsters imprisoning him. Those screams…” Lyra shuddered. “Those were the screams of a shifter who lost their mate. I’d never heard them before, but I recognized them instantly.”

A pang stabbed my heart. Every time I started to hate Knox, something happened to soften my heart toward him again. Damn him, this place, my mother, and everything else.

“When I first saw him, I thought this is it, we’ll get free now. The alpha didn’t much care for his youngest, but he’d never let the casters get one over on him by imprisoning his son. Of course, the alpha never came; the curse prevented that. So we remained trapped in hell as time inched past at an excruciating pace.

“One night caster was especially cruel to me, and for some reason, I was a favorite of his. One day, after an especially degrading session, he lay beside me, playing with my hair. He told me how much he loved it.

“The casters had woven layers of magic over that place to keep us from shifting or using our powers. Knox was the only one who could transform in there. For some reason, they couldn’t stop him from doing so, which only shows how powerful he is.

“After that asshole caster left me, I sat on my bed, running my fingers through my tangled hair. I didn’t bother taking care of it anymore, but he still liked it.”

Anger clouded her face and turned her words venomous.

“I went into the bathroom and found the small razor they’d given me. They expected us to remain groomed for them at all times, and they punished us when we weren’t. I tried to rebel once and refused to shave. They peeled the flesh from my legs.”

My hand flew to my mouth to stifle my gasp. She didn’t pay any attention to me as she continued talking.

“The razor was useless as a weapon, and I couldn’t use it to kill myself, but I could use it on hair. I stood in front of the mirror as I sawed it off. I didn’t cry as it fell in the sink, but my mother would have wept endlessly.

“When I finished, I gathered all my hair up and shoved it in a garbage can. When that caster returned and saw what I’d done, he was irate. I paid dearly for ruining my hair, and he ordered me to grow it back, but I didn’t care what he did to me, I didn’t grow it back, and I never will.”

I was too stunned and saddened by this revelation to respond. But Lyra didn’t expect a response as she opened the door and left.

“We’re all so broken,” she’d said. “And nothing can ever put us back together.”

She didn’t believe any of them would heal, and I was beginning to think she was right.

When I sank onto the mattress, Gizzi came over to settle in my lap. I stroked his fur as I stared out the windows and tried to absorb everything Lyra had revealed.

“I can’t stay here,” I whispered.

Gizzi didn’t respond as he nudged my hand.

CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE

Briar

Over the next two days, Lyra brought me books, and we searched through them together. We didn’t find any answers. It was as frustrating as trying to learn about my newfound abilities to communicate with the dead and animals.

When I ran out of books on potions and plants, I had her bring me ones on curses, but there wasn’t much on them in the shifters’ library. The casters and elves would keep information about their magical abilities close to their hearts. They wouldn’t put their secrets into books the other kingdoms could use.

The information we found on curses focused more on what they could do than on how they were created or broken. I hadn’t hoped for much from that avenue anyway, but it was still disappointing.

Because of Lyra’s frequent visits and time spent with me, I suspected Knox knew what she was doing. I didn’t ask, and she didn’t say. We spent much of our time working in silence, but sometimes we shared stories from our childhood.

I learned she was the youngest of seven and had six older brothers, who were entirely crazy and loved to pester her. They’d also beat up anyone who looked at her cross-eyed.

She learned about how Knox and I would play together in No Man’s Land. I didn’t tell her much about Nightshade; there were no happy memories there, and we’d settled into telling only things that brought smiles and laughter.

There was enough sadness in this castle without us adding to it. I enjoyed her company and was glad to have her faith and support.

On the third day, she looked entirely defeated when she arrived at my door. Her shoulders were slumped, and her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep.

“It’s getting worse,” she said. “Knox wants you to come with me.”

I rankled at this command. “Where is our mighty leader?”

“In the solar with Dromon and Pierce, as well as some of the sprites.”