Page 77 of Bound Hearts

I’m not sure if what I say will make this worse or reassure her. My gut leads me somewhere I’d rather not go.

"Explain," she snaps, fists clenched at her waist.

I step forward, gesturing for her to stay calm. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry. You were already struggling with the pregnancy, and I thought this would be the last thing you needed to hear at that moment, and then it kind of spiraled into not telling you at all. I didn’t tell you about the detail in the clause of needing to have a baby by my birthday this year.”

She scoffs and moves back to keep space between us. “It’s true. You needed a baby before the end of the year.”

“Yes, but I’ve also been clear to my dad and brother that I wasn’t going to follow through with the clause solely because I needed to. If anything were to happen, then it would be on my terms.”

Her chin begins to tremble. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“That everything would only happen if I met the right person and fate stepped in.”

Sutton displays herself with her hands. “Well, congratulations. Fate stepped in.” She laughs bitterly but then stalls. “Oh my God,” she quietly gasps to herself. “But did it? Is your brother right? You made sure this happened?”

I rub at my face. “Just ask, Sutton.” It comes out frustrated because this entire conversation is my doing, but I wish she believed in me more.

Her eyes drop to her belly, and when her eyes strike up to meet mine, tears pool at the bottom. “Did you get me pregnant on purpose?”

“Sutton.” My voice is thick. I don’t waste time. I take her shoulders, gently turning her to face me, ensuring she meets my eyes. “Think about it. We used condoms, but you weren't on birth control.”

She gently shakes her head, torn between disbelief and a need to argue. "Exactly, I wasn’t on birth control."

“I hate to tell ya, sweetheart, but you also knew it was a risk, and still…” I challenge.

Her hands fly up to pound on my chest. “This is not on me. For all I know, you could have done exactly what your twisted brother thought of. I mean, condoms aren’t effective if you fucking sabotage them.”

She just shot a bullet through me, and my jaw goes slack, trying to accept her thought, but I can’t. “You honestly think I would do that?” Only her cry is the immediate response, and her fingers splay against my chest. “Look me in the eye and ask that again,” I demand.

Her eyes slide to the side, and she hesitates, but then our gazes meet. “Did you do something?”

“Do you believe that I would? Really believe it? Because I feel that you and I know each other the best. You should know the answer already.”

She takes a few breaths, nostrils flaring. Gradually, her body’s tension fades, replaced by quiet acceptance. "No," she whispers, admitting. "You wouldn’t."

“And I didn’t.”

"But..." she stammers, struggling for words.

“No buts. Hell, even when I knew you were ovulating, I didn’t try extra hard to get you pregnant.”

Her relief disappears. "What?" She steps away, out of my reach.

I scrub my fingers against the back of my head and wince. In hindsight, I picked the worst choice of words, but I can’t leave any stone unturned right now.

My feet move forward, and she steps further away, anxiety returning to her face.

“You have that app thing that gives notifications about your cycle and...” I’m going to have to rip the band-aid off. “I… looked a few times.” That small corner in me is twisted as fuck, and I’ve been dealing with that confrontation in my head for a while now. The possibility that I could sit in morally gray territory.

She gasps, covering her mouth. "God, no. This isn’t happening." She starts to fan herself.

This is my fault that she is now about to break down.

“Plus, you even told me once that we had to be extra careful.”

She chuffs a cynical laugh. “Well, we didn’t get that memo.” Raking her hands through her hair, more tears fall.

“Come on, Sutton. An app isn’t biology.”