Page 146 of Nobody Told Me Thrift Shops Sell Stolen Dragon Heirlooms

A row of black jackets hung on a rack beside a shelf of clipboards, badge lanyards, and folded white gloves.

I grabbed a jacket.

I convinced myself I wasn’t committing by saying I was borrowing it. Temporarily and in service of justice, which wasn’t technically a legal category, but it should be.

The jacket was too large in the shoulders, but in a place like this, confidence did half the tailoring. I clipped on a blank visitor badge from the basket, grabbed a clipboard, and mustered all the confidence I could. I imagined I was just walking down the hallway in the firm to go fix the copier because only I could.

The auctioneer was in a narrow room behind the stage, drinking water and looking clammy.

Good.

Fear wasn’t always useful, but guilt often made people sweat.

He looked up as I entered. “Can I help you?”

“I think we can help each other,” I said.

His eyes dropped to my badge, then moved to my clipboard as if paper might explain me. “I’m sorry, who are you?”

“Someone who watched you ignore a registered bidder’s paddle three times in a room full of witnesses.”

He went so pale, I thought he might pass out. I almost felt bad.

Almost.

“That was an accident.”

“Great,” I said. “Then you’ll be relieved to hear I’m offering you a short break before any more accidents happen.”

His eyes sharpened. “Excuse me?”

I set the cash on the table.

He stared at it.

“Five minutes,” I said. “One lot.”

“That’s absurd.”

“So is torching an auction house’s credibility because a phoenix collector wants to feel special.”

His gaze snapped to mine, and I saw the realization dawn.

I lowered my voice. “I’m not asking you to void anything. I’m not asking you to falsify a bid. I’m asking you to take the break you look like you need and let the relief auctioneer read one lot from the script.”

“There is no relief auctioneer.”

“There is now.”

“You?”

“I have excellent diction.”

“This is insane.”

“Yes,” I said. “And yet you’re still looking at the money.”

His throat bobbed.