Page 30 of His Human Believer

“Huh.”

“The equipment runs unattended. He’s got everything on automatic recording and he’s going to review it in the morning. And he’s going to be up all night tomorrow for the alignment, so he’s sleeping. It makes complete sense.”

“Sure.”

“I hate it,” I admit. “I wish I was out there with him.”

“I know you do.” She grins at me over the rim of her glass. “It’s all over your face. Okay. What is actually happening between you and the mysterious Vidar Coalstone?”

I could deflect. I’m extremely good at deflecting, it’s most of what I do professionally, redirecting a conversation without the other being noticing they’ve been redirected. But this is Avery, and she has known me since the dawn of time and I have never once successfully lied to her.

So I tell her.

“He told me he wants me, but he can’t have me because of the vow of celibacy.”

“Oh wow, I didn’t realize he’d told you how he felt.”

“The first night, when I went out to the wall he tried to send me back inside. I thought it was because I was in the way, and he said no, that isn’t the reason. And then he said he wanted to have sex with me and having me close by was too tempting.”

Avery puts a hand over her mouth.

“And I didn’t believe him at first because this doesn’t happen to me in my normal life. The handsome guy doesn’t usually want the overweight female who mainly dresses in baggy clothes. Amongst human men and also the Gravians I’m basically overlooked as a sexual partner. But Vidar growled and said I’m the most beautiful female he’s ever encountered.”

Avery places a palm against her chest. “Oh, I knew there was a reason I liked Coalstone so much. It’s such a bummer that he’s taken on that vow and now he has to keep you at arm’s length for…?”

“Ten more months.”

“Jeez. Hannibal said Vidar isn’t even allowed to masturbate during that whole time, is that true?”

“It’s true.”

“Wow.”

“I know.”

“And what are you going to do about all of this?”

“So…I took on the vow with him,” I say.

She spits out some of her drink. “You did what?”

“I promised him. That first night.” I shrug. “He was standing there telling me that if I stayed out there he didn’t trust himself, and that he’s very good at constructing arguments and he’d been building one all evening without meaning to. And that he was worried he’d find a way to talk me into his bed. I said I’d help him keep it. That I wouldn’t flirt, I wouldn’t touch him, and if he tried anything I’d shut him down.” I take another drink. “I said I want him to win at this as much as he does.”

Avery’s face has gone soft.

“And I’ve been keeping it. For the record. Including the other part.”

She frowns. “What other part?”

“Avery. I’m not going to have sex with him or masturbate either during the whole time he isn’t able to. I’m taking on the vow exactly how he has to take on the vow, so he’s not alone in this.”

“Oh.” Her eyebrows shoot up. “Oh! You’re not⁠—”

“I am not.”

Avery is looking at me like I’ve grown a second head. “Margaret, this is surprising. I didn’t expect you to…hold on, does this mean that you really care about him? I guess I thought you just wanted to pleasure mate with him while you were visiting and now you’re bummed that won’t happen. But instead…”

“I think I’m in love with him,” I admit. “How is this possible? I’ve only known him for nine diurnals, Avery. And now I’m already building secret plans for our future in my head. Is that crazy?”